Awakening
by Dark Moon Ministry
Summary: When class 3-4 goes to Okinawa, Chikako Shirai stands alone without her leader for the first time. The interactions with her former friends bring shocking revelations, a search for a new identity...and an Onizuka experiment too! Manga based.
1. Chapter 1

**AWAKENING**

**by Dark Moon Ministry**

Disclaimer: I do not own GTO or any of its characters.

_AUTHOR'S NOTES:_

_Hello everyone! I'll say it right from the start: I am a huge fan of GTO and GTO fanfiction. I love all of it. After finishing the series, I felt I wanted to write a story of my own. After growing a bit tired of all the classic topics (all the Anko-Noboru fics, for example), I decided to write a story about something that is usually not covered in GTO fanfics. This story is an attempt at doing something new. It is a fanfic focusing on a character that is not of the main characters, namely one of Miyabi's sidekicks: Chikako Shirai. She does not get much focus or dialogues in the original GTO series, despite that I felt it would have been possible to make good storylines with her. In this fanfic, I explore the character, personality and past of Chikako; covering an undiscovered part of the GTO universe. I tried to look at Chikako's behavior and character traits, and then create a portrait as close to the true GTO spirit as possible. Maybe you will have a different view of her than me, but nevertheless, I hope you will enjoy it!_

_Please note that this fanfic is MANGA BASED ONLY. The anime is not considered at all, and I haven't even seen the live action. This fanfic is told from Chikako's POW, and follows the GTO manga closely. Thus, the story works best if you are already familiar with the whole storyline. This story focuses primarily on chapters (Lessons) 95-96, 103-104 and 110 of the manga (basically, the Okinawa arc and right after)._

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><p><strong>CHAPTER 1<strong>

Chikako Shirai groaned as she stepped out of the bus. The sudden bright light made her eyes water. She blocked the sun with her hand and blinked a couple of times. Once the sting was gone and her eyes had got used to the light, she relaxed and let her senses observe the surroundings. She opened her mouth in surprise when she saw the colorful landscape. Endless fields of green and blue lay before her. The air was filled with the salty scent of the ocean. The warm breeze played with her hair. Okinawa was exactly as beautiful as everyone said.

The parking lot was crowded with people. All the students had been sitting on a bus ride for hours, and naturally, their adrenaline and energy had reached critical levels. Letting them of that hot and tiny bus and releasing them into this beautiful tourist resort was like breaking a bee hive with a rock. The students were everywhere around, and the teachers had a hell with keeping them in order.

Chikako took off her big, thick glasses and wiped the lenses clean. It was hot and humid and she was sweating. The humidity made moisture gather on the glass and she constantly had to clean it. She wiped the sweat of her forehead before putting her glasses back on. She longed desperately to get to the hotel room so she could get a shower and a change of clothes.

"Wow, this place is such a mess. I hope we won't get run over by those kids." Chikako said to Saeko Iijima, her friend standing next to her. Saeko looked at her, then nodded slightly and looked away.

Chikako was well aware of how pointless her utterance was. She had not said it because it was very important. She had said it just to have something to say to someone. Something that would take the confusion of her mind, if only for a second. People used to say that silence was golden, but Chikako was afraid of silence. You could always hide behind words and phrases. Silence made you defenseless.

Chikako knew she was ungrateful. There was no denying that this vacation resort was a true paradise. Many people would have given everything to get a chance to be where she was now. She knew she was supposed to feel happy, but the only thing she felt was stress. It was a pity, because she had always wanted to come here. She had always talked to her family and friends about how much she wanted to go to Okinawa.

The reason she could not enjoy herself was because one of her friends was missing.

Miyabi Aizawa.

She was gone. The last time Chikako and Saeko had seen Miyabi was shortly before they had headed for Okinawa. Miyabi had come to school and paid the rest of the money for the trip, as a way of saying thanks for being saved from the hotel room. Then she had walked away without saying a word. From that moment, they had not been able to reach her. She didn't answer the phone and didn't come to school anymore. The departure date for the Okinawa trip had drawn closer and closer. Eventually, Chikako and Saeko had decided to go. They had both hoped that Miyabi would show up at the airport with the rest of the class. But to no avail.

Miyabi Aizawa was really gone.

Chikako made sure to stay near Saeko. After all, Saeko was the only close friend she had here on this trip. Hell, Saeko was pretty much the only friend she had at all. So much had happened over the last months. The recent events had created a huge gap between Miyabi's group and the rest of the class. Her classmates were like strangers nowadays. Chikako didn't know them anymore, and it made her nervous. Without Miyabi at her side, she felt unprotected and insecure.

A year earlier, everyone in class would have killed for just a few minutes of attention from Miyabi. She had been the queen of the school, and Chikako was proud of being her close friend. She missed those days. She had loved all the attention and respect she had got from her classmates. How all the boys had buttered for Miyabi so that she would take one of them out for a date. How all low ranked girls of the class had begged the three of them to take them under their wings.

Now, her class mates had grown arrogant and disrespectful. Chikako hated to see the new confidence and pride that shone from their eyes. She hated to see their happy faces and hear them laugh together. One by one, the class mates had allied themselves with Eikichi Onizuka's clique. Miyabi thought of them as traitors, and therefore, Chikako also did.

Chikako looked to her right. A short distance away she saw Urumi Kanzaki talking to Yoshito Kikuchi and Kunio Murai and his boys. Kanzaki's long blonde hair was shining in the golden sunlight, and her cynical eyes were glittering, the blue one matching the color of the sky and ocean. Chikako felt a sour taste in her mouth. She had a strong hatred of Kanzaki. And more important, she was deeply afraid of her. It was not only because of the recent hotel room incident that Kanzaki had orchestrated, even though that surely played a big part. No, the main reason she hated and feared her was because Kanzaki was so proud and confident in herself. Kanzaki was beautiful, smart and had absolutely no respect for Miyabi and her friends, no matter what they tried to do to her.

In the beginning when she had just returned to the class, Kanzaki had been very cold and cynical. Even more so than she was nowadays. She had tagged along with Miyabi and had set up her own terrorism spree towards the school and the teachers. But those days were now over. After Onizuka had dealt with her, she had changed. She was now a quite happy and relaxed girl. Even though she retained some of her cynicism and brutality, she was nowhere as evil as she used to be. Over time, she had made a lot of friends. She even liked the company of Tomoko Nomura, of all people! Chikako hated Tomoko too. She was an idiot. A complete klutz with two enormous breasts. She could not understand why Kanzaki would want to spend time with Tomoko.

Tomoko was not here on Okinawa either. Chikako had heard that Tomoko had another one of her modeling jobs somewhere, posing in swimsuits for some company's commercials. Chikako felt bitter about this. Tomoko was an idiot. It was not fair that she would have all that fame and fortune. Tomoko's commercials aired on television every now and then, much to Chikako's disgust. Everytime she saw Tomoko's giant boobs on the TV she had to switch channels immediately or she would have to throw the television out of the window.

Chikako looked to her left. A bit further away she saw Anko Uehara and her two friends Mayuko Asano and Naoko Izumi pick on Noboru Yoshikawa. She smiled. Yoshikawa was a geek and an idiot, and it only served him right to get humiliated by Anko. Too bad that Onizuka had intervened, putting a stop to Anko's regular abuse. Chikako enjoyed seeing jerks like Yoshikawa all beaten and bruised. He deserved it, as the wimpy little maggot he was. Anko had surely done a good job, and she had Chikako's full support.

However, if the truth was to be told, Chikako didn't like Anko either. In fact, she was terrified of Anko. At first glance, Anko looked like a sweet and kind-hearted school girl. But her eyes betrayed her. Anko had this icy, hateful gaze in her eyes which sent a chill up your spine. While Anko kept a facade of being a polite and hard working student, Chikako was well aware of her true nature. Anko and her girls were bullies and cold-blood sadists. Before Onizuka had arrived to the school, they had been pushing around not only Yoshikawa, but several other weaker students, both in their own class and other classes. Any boy or girl who was physically weak and just happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong time got a taste of Anko's treatment. Once they were caught up in her game, how they would end up was pretty much just a matter of chance. If they were lucky, they could get away with a few bruises. But if Anko and her two friends got really carried away during their little sessions, the results could become really frightening.

Chikako thought about Anko and her friends. Her two goons, Asano and Izumi, were your typical underlings who always served their ringleader. Those two girls weren't necessarily cruel by nature, but they followed Anko's every order, and showed little remorse for their actions. Chikako couldn't decide on which one was the scariest. Asano surely had the most fearful face. That short hair and those stern eyes could make anyone freak out. Izumi, on the other hand, had a sweet-looking face and seemed very naive and innocent. But this only made the contrast with her true nature so much creepier.

In difference to Chikako herself, Miyabi enjoyed Anko's company and had no problem being with her. Chikako could not understand what Miyabi saw in a person like Anko, but she never said anything. Several times, all six of them, Anko's group and Miyabi's group, had spent time together shopping or going to karaoke bars. Chikako always made sure to keep her smile up and get along with the others, but deep inside she always felt uneasy when those three other girls tagged along. It was not so much the actual things that Anko did as it was her attitude and lack of morals. Chikako was no weakling, and she was used to some roughness. And after all, Miyabi could also be cruel if she wanted to. But the big difference was that Miyabi was only cruel when someone had actually gone against her. Anko was cruel just because she enjoyed it, and she could pull any person into her games, even the ones who hadn't done anything. Chikako sometimes wondered what would have happened if she had not been part of Miyabi's group. Would Anko and her goons attack her as well? Sure, she wasn't as short or wimpy as Yoshikawa, but she was not a good fighter at all, and she definitely had an appearance that easily made her a target for bullies like Anko. Chikako shivered at the thought.

Of course, Anko and her girls didn't do any bad stuff these days. After Onizuka had arrived, he had put them all through one of his treatments, and after that, Anko and her gang had stopped most of their activity, falling back to verbal insults and cold stares mostly. Even though Chikako didn't like Onizuka, she had to admit that after his treatment, the school had felt a lot safer and more relaxed.

Onizuka...Chikako felt anger again. She hated him so much! He had singlehandedly destroyed the whole empire Miyabi had built up. She hated his personality and his attitude. She hated his strength and his good luck that took him out of almost any situation unharmed. And most of all, she hated the fact that every person he encountered was brought over to his side.

Now everyone treated her like air. It was like she was invisible to the crowd. No one even said "hi" in the class room or corridor. And it was all Onizuka's fault. The last months, the only good company she had had was with Miyabi and Saeko. Miyabi was always there for her, coming up with great ideas of things to do, making her laugh and forget her sorrows. Miyabi was a true friend.

But this time, Miyabi was not here...

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><p>It was around 2:00 PM and almost everyone had hit the beach. This vacation resort truly had everything. The beach looked just like the ones you see in television commercials. Milky white sand, aquamarine blue water and emerald palm trees.<p>

Chikako lay on a beach blanket, wearing one of her favourite bikinis. She looked around the beach. Third graders from all classes were either jumping in the waves or lying in the sand trying to get a tan. A distance away, Onizuka was going through one of his classical antics of mocking Kunio Murai. Chikako couldn't tell exactly what it was all about, but it appeared to be something about drawing pictures on your bare skin. Onizuka had drawn a gigantic picture on Murai's back, which he apparently hadn't noticed until just now, much to Fujiyoshi's and Kusano's amusement. Murai was too far away for Chikako to make out what was written on his back, but he clearly wasn't happy with it. With his face red of anger, he went through his normal routine of trying to beat Onizuka to a pulp with any nearby object that could come in handy, and as usual, Onizuka avoided every single swipe without much trouble.

Chikako frowned. She hated Murai and his boys too, but at least they were not good-looking and intelligent like Kanzaki. In Chikako's mind, there were only two kinds of people: those who counted and those who didn't. People like Miyabi were the ones you wanted to get close to. Guys like Murai and his boys, you either dominated or just ignored. She looked over to the Onizuka gang one last time. _'Losers!'_ she thought.

To her left, Saeko was lying on her own blanket. She was wearing a red swimsuit and wore sunglasses, which seemed a bit strange since she was lying in the shade. She looked quite relaxed. Chikako felt there was an embarrassing silence around them, despite the roaring sound of the waves and all the laughter and screams from the people on the beach.

"You want to go swimming or something?" she said to Saeko after a short while.

"No I'm fine here." Saeko replied.

"Okay. Maybe we should get something to drink later on?"

"Yeah, maybe."

Her conversations with Saeko hadn't been much more than this ever since they came to Okinawa. It struck her how awkward it felt spending time with Saeko when Miyabi wasn't there. Normally, it was Miyabi who took command and called all the shots when the three of them were together. As soon as Miyabi was around, everything became great. There were no limits to Miyabi's creativity. When you spent time with her, even the smallest things, such as taking a walk through the park, became something interesting and important.

Chikako adored Miyabi. She was the person Chikako looked up to the most, and the one she secretly desired to be like. Miyabi had it all. Good looks, good grades, wealth and a big social network. In addition to this, she had skills in an impressive variety of fields, including sports, singing and much more. She also came from a respected family, with her father having a high position in a banking company.

It was unfair that one single person had all this happiness! In comparison to Miyabi, Chikako was not a very interesting person. She came from a typical middle class family. She had very little charisma and no remarkable talents. Her voice was rather high pitched and nasal, something that often annoyed people. Whenever she tried to tell people something interesting, they tended to lose interest of her pretty quickly.

Then there was one special thing about her. One particular thing that Chikako hated about herself: she wasn't good looking. In fact, she thought of herself as ugly. Although there were a lot of things about her face and her body she didn't like, there was one particular feature that stood out more than the others: her glasses.

Chikako hated her glasses. She was blind as a bat, which forced her to wear these very big, round glasses with very thick lenses. This effectively made her look like a stereotypical class nerd, despite the fact that she wasn't nerdy at all, nor did she put much time into studying or reading books. Chikako loathed mirrors. She got depressed every time she saw the reflection of her own face.

It was the opposite for Miyabi. It was not just her natural beauty that made people open up to her. Miyabi had that spark that automatically made her the center of attention. As soon as she entered the room, the temperature seemed to rise five degrees, conversations stopped and everyone focused on the gorgeous black haired girl. Miyabi could make anyone laugh about anything. She could take any story or joke and turn it into something amazing. Not even when she messed things up did she drop the ball for one second. Even if she made a mistake, Miyabi always managed to make people laugh with her instead of at her.

A rhythmic, creaky sound suddenly brought Chikako back to reality. She looked to where the sound was coming from. Saeko had fallen asleep and was snoring quietly. It was a good thing she was lying in the shade, or she would risk waking up burnt to a crisp by the sun. Chikako sighed. Saeko was a good friend too, but not half as close to her as Miyabi. Still, she was nice to hang out with.

Even though Chikako liked Saeko, she also held quite a bit of a jealousy towards her. Saeko looked much better than her in every way. While Saeko was not really extraordinarily attractive or intelligent, she didn't look bad, and she was capable of drawing attention to herself. Or rather, she could do it as long as people like Miyabi or Kanzaki were not around. Saeko's grades were not low, and she had actually been asked out on a date a few times, something Chikako had never been. Or, sometimes boys had tried to approach Chikako, but then it was always with a hidden agenda. They wanted to get closer to Miyabi through her.

Most of her jealousy towards Saeko stemmed from the fact that Saeko almost always managed to get closer to Miyabi than Chikako could. Saeko simply had better social and intellectual skills than her, and could do much better in conversations with Miyabi. This was the main reason Chikako often felt she had the lowest rank in their group. She had no anger towards Saeko, but she really disliked this part of her personality. Miyabi was so intelligent and so good with talking that it was no wonder she enjoyed Saeko so much. Chikako understood this very well and respected Miyabi's feelings.

Chikako felt a sting of sadness and found herself thinking back to the time when Miyabi had made a plan to get rid of Onizuka using Tomoko as a bait. Miyabi had fooled Tomoko that she would be welcome in her group if she did as she was told. This was obviously a lie, but Tomoko was too stupid to understand that. Although Chikako would never tell anyone, she had secretly wished that Tomoko would have been allowed to join the group. Granted, she hated Tomoko, but if she would have joined, Chikako would not have to feel like the awkward one. Tomoko was so stupid and clumsy that she made everybody around her look elegant and agile.

Chikako started to feel a bit low. She always felt sad when she compared herself to Saeko and Miyabi. Why was the world so cruel? Why was she the only one who was born with an ugly face and a complete lack of skills? It was unfair! Why couldn't she have something she was really good at? Something that she mastered better than both Miyabi and Saeko? She wasn't very good at anything. She had nothing at all...

Or...that was not really true. She actually had something. There was one skill she possessed that neither Miyabi nor Saeko had. One single thing she was really good at: she could draw.

Chikako loved to draw. Pictures, portraits, comics...anything. And she was very good at it too. At least she thought so herself. She especially loved drawing comic book characters. In fact, she had a big interest in manga and anime, and the whole subculture around it. She had noticed her talent for drawing early on in life, and she had practiced and perfected this skill almost every day since pre-school. Right before she entered Holy Forest, she had got to a point where she felt she was really good at it. Her parents had always been so proud of her and had always encouraged her to continue with her hobby and pursue a future as a comics artist.

The only problem was...drawing was not cool.

Drawing comics was a nerdy hobby. Cool girls didn't draw manga characters. Cool girls didn't watch anime series. Cool girls didn't do cosplaying and didn't go to anime festivals. Only nerds did those kind of things. Chikako was not a nerd. She refused to do anything that was nerdy.

She had always been too shy to show her drawings for anyone but her own family. In elementary school, she had never told anyone in her class about her hobby. But when she had met Miyabi, she had felt that she could finally gather the courage to tell someone.

But when she was ready to tell, Miyabi had begun talking about people who liked manga and anime and drew pictures. She had explained to Chikako how nerdy and childish those kind of things were. She had opened Chikako's eyes.

Chikako was thankful that Miyabi had told her the truth and shown her how things were. She was even more thankful that she had learned about this before she had shown her drawings, and not after. Ever since that day, Chikako was terrified that her secret would come out. Who knew how Miyabi would react if she found out one of her close friends had done such a nerdy thing? And if Chikako would have told the class about her drawings, everyone would have laughed at her, and Miyabi's reputation might have been damaged. The class already had the Gundam Trio; three guys that did nothing but talking about Gundam and other anime shows. They were on the lowest pole of the social ladder, and everyone made fun of them. It didn't make things better that one of the guys had the same last name as her. If her former hobby would be exposed, people would think they were brother and sister.

Chikako took a breath and shivered. She tried to free her mind of all thoughts and focus on the sky and the water. There was no need to delve in the past. She had put all those childish things behind her. Now she was part of Miyabi's gang, and was one of the cool girls.

She sighed and leaned back. She wanted Saeko to wake up so she could have someone to talk to. Even though she couldn't think of anything to say to her. If it felt like this the very first day, how would the rest of the trip be like? Would she be able to enjoy herself at all? She so wished Miyabi would have been here...


	2. Chapter 2

**CHAPTER 2**

Okay, now this was just great!

Chikako was furious. She squeezed the empty soda can with her hand, trying her best to crush it into pieces. She didn't succeed. She didn't have much strength.

The reason for Chikako's anger was the room arrangments in the hotel they were going to stay in. The rocket scientist known to man as Onizuka had come up with the brilliant idea of mixing boys and girls in the same rooms! What was worse was that he had picked the worst combinations possible. Chikako had been close to throwing up when she realized she would have to share a room with two of the biggest idiots in the universe: Kunio Murai and Yoshito Kikuchi! Spending the whole Okinawa trip with those two jerks as room mates made her seriously considering getting on a bus for a quick ride home, paradise resort or not. The only glimpse of light in the darkness was that the third room mate was Saeko.

Chikako and Saeko had fought with Murai as soon as they had entered the room. Murai had been very verbal about how he hated to be there with the two girls, and Chikako and her friend had made sure to shoot their own poison darts back at him. Kikuchi had said nothing at all. He just put up his quiet facade and started using his laptop.

Chikako came back to the room. She took a deep breath before she went inside. Those nerves had to be put in order. She would rather not get into a fight with the boys. If she would pick a fight once again, there was a big risk that Kikuchi would join in. Kikuchi had the oratory skills of a professor. If you tried to go up against him in pure argumentation, you were sure to lose. Chikako's rethoric skills were even poorer than her fighting abilities, and having an argument with Kikuchi was something she did not desire.

When she entered the room, her heart dropped all the way down to the ocean floor. Saeko was not there. But Murai and Kikiuchi were. And what was worse was that they had invited Kusano and Fujiyoshi as well! The Murai Triangle was sitting on the floor playing cards. Kikuchi was sitting on his bed, still using his laptop.

"Oh great! Even more dorks for the evening." she muttered, walking over to her bed.

"Says the girl with the dorkiest face in class." Murai muttered back. Fujiyoshi and Kusano smiled.

Chikako felt slight rage inside. Where the hell was Saeko! She didn't want to be alone with these knuckleheads! Saeko should be here and help her defend herself!

Fortunately, arguing with Murai was not very difficult. The only thing you had to do was making him lose his temper, something that wasn't very hard to do. Once he went into his angry mode, he behaved like a three year old, screaming while waving his arms all around. Chikako was not afraid of that. She knew he was never violent towards girls. Rather, he was pretty scared of getting into fights with them. Once he got furious, his arguments lost all intellectual power, and you only had to ride out the storm.

"Well, at least I haven't got a whole love letter drawn on my back." Chikako said with a smile as she sat down on her bed. At dinner, she had overheard from the other classmates what Onizuka had drawn on Murai's back.

That clicked. Murai jumped up immediately, his face red. His sudden, flimsy movements knocked over the pile of cards on the floor.

"Hey dude, watch it!" Kusano said angrily, but his voice could barely be heard over Murai's roaring.

"Shirai, you fucking brat! Shut the hell up or I'll punch those big glasses of yours!". He pointed towards her, making wild gestures with his hand.

"Oooh I'm so afraid!" Chikako replied with her best melodramatic voice. "Bah! You never go up against girls. Hell, you would probably get your ass handed to you by Uehara! Why should I worry about your pathetic threats?"

Murai stared at her.

"Shut up!" he said. "You'll regret saying that! I'll make your life a nightmare!"

"Oh really? You mean you are going to come up with some great plan to terrorize me? Ain't gonna happen. With your low intelligence, the best thing you could come up with is probably to put tacks or ice cream or something on my chair, and hope I'll sit down on it. Try it if you'd like. I am not Toroko, you know."

She smiled victoriously at him. Murai opened his mouth and closed it again. He seemed to be looking for words. Chikako enjoyed it. Murai was such a jerk.

"You're so incompetent, Murai." Chikako continued. "It's just like when you tried to get rid of Onizuka. None of your pathetic little plans worked out. I mean, trying to make him stumble and fall on a pair of scissors? Putting a cockroach in his food? That's just stupid. Too bad you lack the brains for such a job."

"Well, you're not very competent either!" Murai shouted. "How about that money embezzlement operation you tried to pull of together with Iijima and that bitch Aizawa, right before this trip? You three tried to get Onizuka framed for the incident, but in the end, you ended up with the dirty old men instead!"

When he mentioned this, Chikako got mad for real. She stood up and looked Murai straight in the eyes.

"The plan would have worked perfectly if not that little whore Kanzaki had interfered! Miyabi's plan was perfect. Too bad that blonde she-devil had to destroy it!"

She took a breath, then said:

"It's sad to see you have all become Onizuka's servants! I am happy I am still strong and independent. And don't you dare call Miyabi a bitch! Miyabi is a much better person than all of you! She is sweet and caring for the ones who really are her true friends, and she treats traitors the way they should be treated!"

No one in the room noticed it, but Kikuchi suddenly stopped typing at his keyboard.

Murai groaned, his eyes fixed at Chikako.

"'Sweet and caring', huh? You three used Fujiyoshi, making him get humiliated in front of the whole class!"

Fujiyoshi looked bitter when Murai said this. Murai continued:

"Fujiyoshi had done nothing to harm Miyabi or anyone of you! In fact, he is one of the most forgiving persons in the class. He even respects Miyabi still. And you know that, Chikako! Do you honestly think it was right to do such a thing? Did you really feel 'sweet and caring' when you put him through all that?"

Chikako tried to keep a straight face, but she felt her cheeks getting red, and she unintentionally began staring at the wall instead of at Murai.

"Th-that was not my idea. It was Miyabi's plan! I just assisted her. Miyabi is the best one to make advanced plans. Why should I try to interfere? It would only mess up things. And besides, Miyabi would be angry if I did."

Kikuchi slowly closed his laptop. No one noticed this either.

To tell the truth, Chikako felt that the whole embezzlement operation and the usage of Fujiyoshi had been a bit too much. Personally, she hadn't want it to happen, but Miyabi had been so angry and determined that Chikako hadn't dared to say anything. When Miyabi was furious, you never wanted to mess with her. For every day since Onizuka had arrived, Miyabi had become more and more obsessed with getting him fired. In the end, she had been willing to go to any lengths to succeed with her plans. That was the reason they had done something so extreme. Fujiyoshi was a bit of a jerk, but he was actually a quite nice guy. He had even been friendly towards Chikako herself, from time to time. She had not wanted him to play the lead role in Miyabi's plan, but he was the only one in class who came from a poor family.

"Besides," Murai went on, "Where is Miyabi now? Why isn't she here now with her two best friends? You know what, you and Iijima might as well go back home to your 'sweet and caring' friend! Nobody wants you here anyway!"

Chikako got mad again and felt her courage seep back. She looked straight at Murai.

"Yeah, you are right actually! We should go back home! I hate staying here with you idiots, sharing a room and all. When Miyabi isn't here, it's no fun. I should go back home first thing tomorrow! I want to be with Miyabi!"

Suddenly, a voice cut through the air. It was not loud, but its power and authourity silenced all the other voices.

"Miyabi, Miyabi, Miyabi, Miyabi."

It was Kikuchi. He had put his laptop away and was now watching Chikako. She and Murai began staring at him.

Kikuchi was spinning a pen in one of his hands in a steady rhythm.

"Miyabi, Miyabi, Miyabi, Miyabi." he said again, not taking his eyes away from her.

Chikako didn't understand anything.

"Wh-what? What are you doing?" she finally said, not knowing what else to come up with.

"I'm just imitating you, Chikako. You sound like a parrot." Kikuchi said calmly.

"Eh, what? I don't sound like that! Knock it off! You're freaking me out!"

"You're pretty much freaking me out as well."

"What? Why?"

"Because you seem to have an unhealthy obsession for a certain girl named Miyabi Aizawa."

Chikako stared at his cool and relaxed face. His eyes were full of confidence, as usual. Chikako felt the hate grow inside of her. She began trembling. Out of all people on the planet, there was no one she hated as much as Kikuchi.

Kikuchi was everything she was not. Just like Miyabi, he had the intelligence, the good looks and the charisma, not to mention he was a good fighter as well, but the difference to Miyabi was that he completely ignored her. He didn't hate her, he wasn't bored by her, he never felt sorry for her. He simply didn't care about her at all. And that wasn't the only thing. The worst thing was that it always felt like his penetrating gaze saw right through her. When Kikuchi looked at her, she felt like he was reading her mind, seeing not only the faults of her exterior, but into the weakness of her soul. When he looked at her, she felt naked and defenseless.

Then there was one more thing. A very personal thing that only she felt. Kikuchi wore glasses, just like her. But the difference was that he looked good in them. In fact, he looked beautiful in his glasses. They made his face complete in a strange kind of way. Chikako envied this. She hated glasses so much. Her own glasses was what made her so ugly. Her glasses were the reason no boy wanted a date with her. Everytime she saw Kikuchi looking beautiful in his glasses, she felt like she wanted to cry.

"What do you mean? What are you trying to say?" she asked.

"Just listen to yourself, Chikako. 'Miyabi thinks this', 'Miyabi says that', 'Miyabi would be this', 'Miyabi is so lovely and sweet'...you repeat the same kind of phrases over and over again."

"Huh?"

"Let me ask you an honest question, Chikako. Why do you hang out with Miyabi?"

Chikako could not read anything from Kikuchi's expressionless face.

"Why the hell do you ask that? Maybe it's because we're friends! You know, friends do tend to spend time together. Never heard of that?"

"Ah, I see. So you're friends..."

Chikako was totally clueless. Where was he going with all this? Kikuchi's face and voice were completely neutral. He could have been talking about the weather. But Chikako knew very well that Kikuchi was not such a simple guy. She knew that he had a secret plan going on. When he spoke in this manner, there was always something nasty beneath the surface, ready to crawl up when you least expected it.

Chikako sat down on her bed again, trying to think of something else. After a few seconds, Kikuchi spoke.

"Are you really good friends, Chikako? Close friends who care deeply for eachother? Do you trust Miyabi with all your heart?"

"Why, yeah! Of course I do! She is my best friend in the whole world!"

Murai and his boys were now quiet, listening to her and Kikuchi. They seemed to be a bit tense. Chikako felt more and more uneasy. What were they up to, really?

"Okay? Best friends, you say? Hmm..."

Kikuchi took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes a bit, then put the glasses back on. Then he took a deep breath.

"If I am going to express my honest opinion, I have to say that I find your claim that you two are best friends a bit strange. You know, from all I've seen and heard, she is quite rude towards you from time to time."

Chikako frowned.

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"Well, for example, remember that time in the cafeteria last year, when you spilled that huge glass of juice all over your school uniform? You got plenty of that stuff on your skirt as well. It made a big wet spot in the front."

Murai and his friends looked down in the floor smiling. Kikuchi's face was still neutral.

Chikako opened her mouth, but then quickly closed it again.

"Do you remember who laughed the most?" Kikuchi continued. "Miyabi did. She even pointed at you and called out to everyone in the cafeteria what you had done. Because of that, every kid in there noticed it, and everybody laughed."

Chikako coughed quietly, then she chuckled.

"Whu...well, that...that's nothing! She was just teasing me. You know, like close friends do. And besides, I deserved it. I embarrassed Miyabi in front of everyone by screwing up. I was clumsy. I did a Toro-chan, hahaha!"

Her laugh echoed in the quiet room.

"Okay? Personally, I thought she was being quite reckless. As I recall, you were smiling, but your eyes looked very sad." Kikuchi said.

"What are you trying to say, Kikuchi? Everyone does that! I mean, look at you guys!" Chikako pointed to Murai and his two boys. "Don't say you don't fool around, pull pranks on eachother and laugh when someone of you gets into an embarrassing situation!"

"Well, yeah...but we don't do those kind of things, do we?" Murai said.

"You do! Your boys over there laughed quite a lot when they saw the drawing on your back!" Chikako said.

Murai charged up for a new emotional outburst, but Fujiyoshi quickly put a hand on his shoulder.

"Yes, we laughed at him." Fujiyoshi said. "After all, it was a good prank. But afterwards, we helped him clean it up and now we don't pick on him anymore. Miyabi didn't drop it like that. Remember what she did? She took a picture with her cell phone of you being all soaked. Later, she sent it to practically every student in school. Days after the incident, people still laughed when they saw you in the corridor."

"You're just idiots!" Chikako snarled. "The whole thing was just a joke, and I don't mind! Miyabi was only playing a joke! A joke!"

"Does she ever do those kind of jokes with Saeko?" Kikuchi asked her.

"What? I don't know! I guess she does."

"Come to think of it, aren't you three best friends who always are together?"

"Of course we are."

"Really? Because several times, I've seen Miyabi and Saeko hang out with eachother at school, or out in the town, without you. They seem to do that frequently."

He kept staring at her.

"So...so what? She probably had a special reason to do so! I have no idea."

"You mean she never gives you a specific reason why she does it? She just goes out with Saeko and doesn't even bother to give you a call or tell you about it? Isn't that a bit cold?"

"I don't mind! Miyabi would never do something bad to me! If she hangs out with Saeko alone there is probably a good reason for her to do so. Who am I to doubt her?"

"Mmm okay. If you say so..." Kikuchi said.

Chikako frowned and began fixing with her things. She tried her best to ignore him.

"Do you smoke, by the way?" Kikuchi asked her.

Chikako put her things down and looked at him in disbelief.

"No I don't smoke, thank you!" she said angrily.

"But you have smoked. I have seen you doing it."

"What? When?"

"It was when Miyabi had a party at her place with the whole class invited, plus some of the senior girls. One of those girls offered you some free cigarettes."

"Oh...yeah, okay. That's true. I smoked at that party. So what?"

"It seemed to me you didn't like it that much. Remember what happened?"

"No." Chikako said sourly.

"You looked like you were feeling a bit sick while smoking it. And after the cigarette was done and the seniors had left the three of you, you ran to the bathroom and spent the rest of the party in there. It seemed your body didn't react very well."

"Shut up!" Chikako said angrily. "Don't mention that! I'm not a smoker, I know! So what? I hate cigarettes! I've always done!"

"But still, you smoked one."

Chikako looked away.

"At first, you turned down her offer, right?" Kikuchi said. "Then Miyabi took you aside and talked to you. She looked very angry. And after that, you accepted the senior girl's cigarette."

Chikako was quiet for a few seconds. Then she said:

"Well...a senior girl wanted to be kind and give me some free cigarettes...and it's...it's rude to say 'no' to her when she's being kind like that. And I would have made Miyabi look bad at her own party if her close friend would have been whining and had refused such a nice offer..."

"I see..."

"It's nothing strange!" Chikako said angrily. "I have to try out new things, don't I? Otherwise you never learn things in life! I can't be a baby all my life. I have to grow up someday and learn the things adults do!"

"I guess so." Kikuchi said.

He put his pen on the bedside table.

"What about boys?" he suddenly said. "Are you having any luck with them?"

"That's none of your business!"

Chikako's face now had a shade of red, and she did not look at Kikuchi anymore.

"I guess it's not. But I happen to know a thing or two. Remember that time when that guy Takeshi in class 3-1 approached you and said he wanted to spend time with you? He told you such sweet words about how much he liked you. You seemed to be really happy. In fact, you seemed like you were in love. Your eyes were shining."

Chikako's mouth fell wide open. She hadn't told him about that! How could he know all the details?

"You brought him along to a party. You wore the kind of dress he had told you he loved. Then at that party, you introduced him to Miyabi, and then he and Miyabi began dating just a few days after that. They even hugged and kissed in front of you in the school corridor. It was almost as if Miyabi stole him away from you. You looked so sad. It must have felt really painful."

"Sh-shut up! I cannot control what person a guy falls in love with! If he and Miyabi loved eachother and wanted to be together and he had lost interest in me, that's their business! You can't force a person to love you!"

Chikako now looked very troubled. Her gaze bounced around the room, like she was trapped in a cage. Her breathing was heavy.

She faced Kikuchi again and stared at him, gritting her teeth.

"S-stop this nonsense!" she said, her voice trembling. "You don't know anything about Miyabi. I am her close friend, and we have a great relation, something you would never understand!"

At that moment, Kikuchi's voice changed. He looked angry. He leaned forwards and looked her deep into the eyes.

"Oh, it's quite easy for me to understand, Chikako. It's easy to understand how a weak and lonely person like you always pucker up for a popular girl like Miyabi, regardless if she is treating you like shit."

He almost spat out the last word.

"You are so desperate to be one of the cool guys. You would do anything to get accepted by them. And you swallow any crap they put in your mouth. Miyabi dominates you completely, and you get humiliated by her over and over again, and yet you trust her and follow her."

Chikako was white in the face.

"Th-that's not true! Y-you're lying!" she stuttered.

"You say Miyabi is your best friend, and that you two have a great relation. I'm afraid you have been mistaken. Do you want some real evidence of Miyabi's true character? Do you want proof of how wrong you have been about her? Fine then. I'll tell you."

Kikuchi took a deep breath.

"Remember back in elementary school? Long before you came to Holy Forest and met Miyabi or anyone of us? Your classmates in your old school were not very nice to you. They had a very special name for you..."

Chikako's blood froze. No, he couldn't...!

"Kikuchi!" Fujiyoshi said in panic. He, Murai and Kusano suddenly looked very nervous.

But nothing could stop Kikuchi now. He was about to move the last piece and kill the king. His eyes were burning.

"They used to call you...'Chikakobuta'."

He smiled.

Chikako felt like she had been hit by a train. She jumped off the bed and stared at Kikuchi with her eyes full of hate and humiliation. Her face turned pale, then turned red, then turned pale again. Her hands were shaking.

"Shut up! SHUT UP! Where did you hear that name! You cannot know that name! YOU CAN'T!"

No one had ever seen Chikako mad like this before. She was hollering with all her power right into Kikuchi's face. Murai and his two friends looked terrified.

"Yes, we know that name, Chikako. We know everything about your past." Kikuchi said. His voice sounded confident but had a slight tremble. He was indeed uncomfortable with Chikako's desperation.

"Shut up! You can't! You're a monster! A demon! How did you find out about that name? HOW! Tell me or I'll kill you!" she grabbed Kikuchi's collar.

"Think, Chikako! Even you would be able to figure out how we learnt about it. Deep inside, you know it very well. Miyabi told us."

"She did not! SHE DID NOT! She's my best friend! I told no one but her! She would never tell you!"

"She told us that name, and so much more. For a long time now, she has been telling us all your little secrets, all your embarrassing moments and how ugly she thought you were. She used to tell it to the whole class when we gathered in the class room during lunch break, anytime you were not there with us. We laughed. Everyone laughed."

"Lies! Lies!"

Chikako let go of Kikuchi. She put her hands to her face, shaking her head violently.

"Want to hear some more things she told us? How about this: back in your old school you were voted The Ugliest Girl In Class every single year. You wet your bed until you turned seven. And you once invited your whole class over to your house for a birthday party, but no one came."

"Stop it! Stop it!"

Kikuchi raised his voice again.

"No, YOU stop it, Chikako! It's time to wake up now! Miyabi is not the sweet friend you think she is. She is not the kind-hearted girl she once was. You have seen enough now during this semester to know her true nature. She doesn't care about your feelings! She doesn't care about anyone's feelings but her own! She only wants you around as her little pet. She is only interested in going through with her plans, using you as a tool. And you follow! You believe every single word she says! You obey her every command!"

"Nooo!"

"Do you know what people like you are called? 'Ass kissers'! That's what you are. You were always left out of the loop. You were unpopular. You were desperate to be one of the cool girls. You would do anything. Even selling your soul. That's why you are always following Miyabi, who used to be the queen bee of this class. You always hope to get a piece of the fame she used to have. You are idolizing her in every single way. You look up to her so much that you don't even object when she is rude towards you. She constantly mistreats you, and you let it happen."

Chikako was shaking. Her arms hung down, totally powerless. She didn't say anything.

Kikuchi's voice became calm again.

"You wanted people to admire you. But the truth is, no one admires you. Not a single person. The fact that you act as Miyabi's loyal dog is the reason why everyone in the class looks down on you. That's why no one respects you. How can they respect someone who never stands on her own? Someone who never makes her own choices? No one likes you, Chikako. People laugh at you behind your back. Even Yoshikawa and Tomoko do."

Kikuchi had finished his speech. Chikako just stood there for a long time. Then she slowly raised her head and faced the four boys.

"I hate you...I hate you so much." she whispered.

Then she snapped. She began screaming and stomping the floor.

"Go to hell! I hate you! I never want to speak to you ever again! Never! NEVER! Do you hear me!"

She ran out of the room, slamming the door as she left. The crashing sound echoed through the hotel corridor.

* * *

><p>There was an uncomfortable silence in the room after Chikako had stormed out.<p>

"That was cruel, Kikuchi." Fujiyoshi said. He gave the guy with the glasses a cold stare.

Kikuchi sighed and closed his eyes. All the power he held just a minute ago was now gone. He looked tired.

"I know, Fujiyoshi. But I couldn't hold back anymore. She can't live in that dream world forever."

"Don't you think you went a little too far?" Kusano asked, looking worried.

"No. She had to find out the whole truth. She has to know she is the laughing stock of the whole class."

"Knock it off, Kikuchi. You definitely went too far." Fujiyoshi said. "You crushed her. Did you really want to open her eyes...or did you want to ram a stake through her heart?"

"Think about it, Fujiyoshi." Kikuchi said, eyes still closed. "Chikako is completely attached to Miyabi. Do you think anything less than an ice cold shower could make her wake up from that trance? Look, I'm not proud of what I just did, but sometimes you have to be brutally honest to make someone see the truth...isn't that what Onizuka has taught us?"

Fujiyoshi stared at him for a couple of seconds, then he sighed and looked away.

"Iijima is probably going to be really pissed when she finds out..." Kusano mumbled.

"I'll deal with Iijima. I'll take responsibility for that. You guys don't have to do anything." Kikuchi said.

"I feel sorry for her." Murai said. "I think we should talk to Chikako...or something like that..."

"Me too, but it's not much we can do right now." Kikuchi said and took up his laptop again. "She'll cool down and come back eventually. We can talk to her then."


	3. Chapter 3

**CHAPTER 3**

A few minutes later, she was out on the walkway by the beach. It was dark, and she was all alone. She was panting wildly. She had ran all the way from the hotel room to the beach as fast as she could, dodging any questions or troubled looks from her classmates and teachers. She had even ran past Saeko, who was heading back to the room. Saeko had looked shocked when her friend ran past her and had tried to call out to her, but her ears were shut.

Chikako finally stopped. She stood still. Her eyes were closed. She heard the roaring of the waves. The smell of salt and seaweed burnt in her nose. Slowly, her breathing came under control. The red color in her face started to fade out.

Then tears welled up inside her eyes. They poured down her cheeks. She couldn't hold it inside anymore. Everything just burst out. She began screaming. She screamed from the top of her lungs right out in the darkness of the night.

"YOU BITCH! YOU FUCKING BITCH! HOW COULD YOU?"

She violently began kicking a wooden fence standing nearby.

"YOU PROMISED YOU WOULDN'T TELL! YOU PROMISED TO KEEP MY SECRETS! I TRUSTED YOU! YOU LYING BITCH! YOU EVIL, SELFISH WHORE! BITCH! STUPID BITCH! BITCH, BITCH, BITCH...!"

Huge marks began showing in the fence as she kicked it.

Eventually, the plank she was kicking broke apart. Splinters and wooden chips spread over the ground. Chikako stood still for a few seconds without saying a word. She was wheezing.

Then she ran away in the night.

* * *

><p>She never noticed the man sitting in a tree close to the walkway. Not much could be seen in the darkness, but you could tell that he looked very muscular and fit. He was smoking a cigarette. He slowly inhaled what was left of the cigarette and then tossed away the butt. He took out a package and put a new cigarette in his mouth, lighting it. In the faint glow of the lighter's flame you could make out that he had dyed blonde hair and wore piercings in his ear. He looked like he was in deep thought.<p>

Finally, he spoke to himself quietly.

"Hmm...seems like someone needs a hand."

He made a sommersault down from the tree branch, landing smoothly on his feet.

"But that'll be later. I need a break now after today's project. Helping Yoshikawa with Uehara and her girls sure was a hurdle."

He walked away in the night. The last thing you could hear him say was: "I wonder if those girls will go rough on him. Hopefully they'll at least leave his arms and eyesight intact. I need him to help me out with some video games tomorrow."


	4. Chapter 4

**CHAPTER 4**

After a long time she came back to the room. The whole hotel was quiet. Almost everyone had gone to sleep. She slowly opened the door. It was dark inside. She heard a familiar snoring sound. Saeko had come back. Murai moved around in his bed, mumbling in his sleep. From Kikuchi's bed there was dead silence. You could only tell on the bulk that there was a person in there.

Chikako slowly put on her pajamas and slipped into bed. She felt like a zombie. Her movements were slow and clumsy. She lay on her back, staring up in the roof. Her eyes slowly got used to the darkness. She began to see the features of the room.

Then she began crying again. She tried to be quiet but she began sobbing more and more. She rolled over to the side, burying her head into her blanket, trying to suppress the noise.

Her world had just crumbled.

_'She told them. She told everyone. They know all my secrets. They know everything...'_

Chikako had no more anger inside. Now she cried of mere loneliness. She was pathetic. A pathetic little insect that the world didn't care for. She had been blind. The person she had called her best friend had been a bitch. She had mistreated Chikako several times, and she had never noticed it. Or no...no, that was not true...Of course she had noticed it. She had always been well aware of it. She had just denied to herself how much it actually hurt her.

There had been many happy times with Miyabi. Saying something else would be a flat out lie. But between the sweet moments, there had also been a lot of shit. A LOT of shit. And she had swallowed it all down. All the cruel jokes, the insensitive comments, and how she had constantly been bossed around. She had kept telling herself that this kind of treatment was normal. That it was all a part of the gang mentality and that it was nothing to worry about. She had denied her true feelings over and over until she had started believing the lie herself. But everyone had seen what was really going on. Everyone but her.

She had lived in a dream world. She had believed that people had actually admired and respected her because of her friendship with Miyabi. But now she knew the truth. The truth was that no one had ever respected her. Everybody had looked down on her from day one. The only reason they had ever given her any attention was to trying to get closer to Miyabi.

She thought of the people in her class. Kikuchi, Tomoko, Murai, Kanzaki... Good people. Happy and cheerful people. People who looked good, or at least were not ugly. People who had functioning friendships. People who had a future. People who could actually do something original and creative and get respected for it. People who followed their own path and didn't bow to others.

She had looked down upon most of them. Yoshikawa the dork, Tomoko the big breasted retard, Murai the loudmouth. She had called them worthless and pathetic behind their backs. But now she could not deny the truth anymore. Those people surely had some weak sides, but deep down, they also had talents. Yoshikawa was the dork of the class, and most people made fun of him in one way or another, but he was also an expert on video games, and people admired him for this. Tomoko had probably the lowest IQ on the planet and could probably forget what color an orange had, but she was already a famous idol. And Murai had changed so much. Now he got along well with most people, and he did much better at school. After he had sorted out some of his problems, he had turned into a kind-hearted kid everyone loved. Yoshikawa, Tomoko, Murai...They all had something. Despite their flaws, they had friends and a future ahead of them. Chikako didn't. She had no talent. She was ugly. No one respected her. She was worthless. Her classmates lived in a universe far away and wanted nothing to do with her. She was lonely. No one would ever miss her.

She couldn't sleep. With her head still buried in her blanket, she started to think over her life. For the first time, she felt she could look onto herself and her personality with open eyes. She began thinking of her past, how her life had been before she had met Miyabi, and then how it all changed when she got to know her...

* * *

><p><em>The girl with the big glasses walked through the corridor of her elementary school. She held her books closely to her chest, as if they were a shield she used to protect herself. She was the only one in the corridor without any company.<em>

_She reached her locker. She sighed and put her books inside. She probably had to eat lunch alone today as well._

_She slowly walked towards the cafeteria. She sighed again when she saw the big line of students that came out from the cafeteria entrance. It was always like this. People rushed to the cafeteria as soon as the bell rang, and only the fast ones, or the ones who were lucky enough to have the right connections, could get first in line. Chikako herself almost always got a place far back. It could take ages before you got inside, and if you were really unlucky, the food had almost gone cold. And you couldn't even think about leaving the line for a minute, even if you were desperate to visit the bathroom or something like that. No no, the students of this school were not that nice. If you left, you lost your place immediately, and there was no chance of getting it back. Unless you had the right friends, of course. If you knew the right people, you could get everything._

_As Chikako stood in line, she overheard a conversation from a table a bit further down the corridor. She looked over to the place. Then she felt a tingle inside her chest._

_It was them. The cool gang. The group of students who were considered the most beautiful and most popular in the whole school. Everyone adored them, and everyone wanted to be part of their club. Chikako was no exception._

_Chikako could not hear the whole conversation, but she overheard some words. The group was talking about a certain pop idol. Chikako gasped when she heard the name of the idol. She had very little knowledge about music trends and groups, except the most popular stuff that everyone knew about, but she had picked up certain things about this particular idol. Maybe she could... No, could she really? But if she could do it, she would be having a conversation with the cool guys. A real conversation... With the cool guys..._

_She looked around nervously. No one gave her any attention. Students had begun to gather behind her. If she would leave now, she would lose her spot in the line. But to have a chance to talk to the cool guys..._

_Chikako slowly left her spot and began walking towards the gang. Her legs were shaking. When she reached the table, she saw that they were eating. They had already got their lunch from the cafeteria. How could they get it so fast?_

_Chikako stopped in front of the table. She took a deep breath._

_"Um...hi." she said quietly to the gang._

_The gang looked up at her in surprise. They all looked so beautiful. The boys and girls looked like models from a fashion magazine. The confidence radiated from them. Their looks and strength made anyone feel inferior._

_"You want something?" one of the girls said. It was Mio Kurokawa. She was the leader of the gang, the most popular girl in school. She had a very hostile look in her eyes._

_"I...uh...no, I...I just heard you talking about Hiroshi Ryuga." Chikako said nervously._

_"So?"_

_Mio's voice was ice cold. It effectively closed all open doors, clearly marking that Chikako was not welcome in their group._

_"No, I...I just wanted to say that I also like him. I heard his latest single on the radio. I like it very much..."_

_Chikako was sweating. She hated that she was so bad with words. This was not going well._

_She expected the guys to tell her to get lost. She closed her eyes and held her breath. She waited for the dismissal._

_But then Mio suddenly said: "Oh really? That's great!"_

_Chikako opened her eyes in surprise. She stared at the girl. Mio was smiling at her._

_"Come here! Why don't you have a seat?" she said sweetly to Chikako._

_She moved a bit to the side and made a gesture towards the empty chair next to her._

_Chikako held her breath and stared at the chair. She couldn't believe it! She was allowed to sit by the table with the cool guys!_

_Slowly and carefully, Chikako moved over to their table. She nervously sat down, hoping that she would not look clumsy or stupid._

_As soon as she had got seated, Mio spoke:_

_"So...you like the new single?"_

_"Oh yes! Very much!" Chikako said quickly._

_"What do you think of the whole album?"_

_Chikako swallowed. She had not heard the other songs of the album. But she did not want to show that to the gang._

_"It is...uh, it is very good! I like it!" she said._

_"What is your favourite song other than the single?"_

_Chikako felt even more nervous. This felt more like an interrogation than a normal conversation._

_"I...uh, well, there are so many good songs on it. It's hard to decide..." she mumbled, trying her best to keep a natural smile._

_"Yes, of course." Mio said. "Personally, I really like 'Rainfall'. It is so beautiful! Don't you also think so?"_

_"Oh yes! Yes, I like it too!" Chikako said happily. She felt very relived for having been helped out._

_"So, is 'Rainfall' your favourite song from that album?"_

_Chikako felt insecure, but there was not much she could do. She might as well go with that. Hopefully, this topic of conversation would end after this._

_"Y-Yes, it is. That one and the single are my favourites from the album."_

_Suddenly, the other guys at the table began laughing. Chikako looked at them in surprise. Had she said something bad? Then she looked back at Mio. She gasped when she saw her eyes. All the sweetness was gone. Now they only looked cold._

_"'Rainfall' is not on that album, idiot." Mio said cruelly. "It is on the one before that. You know nothing about Ryuga. You're just trying to make an impression on us, you blind little jerk."_

_The gang's laughter rained down on Chikako. It felt like a punch in the face. Chikako felt immense pain inside her heart. She had been set up! It was their intention from the beginning to humiliate her, and they had succeeded. Now she was caught in their game._

_The gang leader moved close to Chikako._

_"There is nothing more I hate than a little four eyes who tries to show off." she growled in Chikako's ear. "Don't try to be like us, because you're not, and you never will be."_

_Chikako's face was red as blood and she had her eyes closed. The humiliation and embarrassment she felt was so intense she just wanted to sink through the floor._

_Mio looked at Chikako with satisfaction. The hopelessness Chikako showed only increased her thirst for blood. She moved close to Chikako's ear once again. _

_"Chikakobuta!" she hissed. "That's your name, isn't it? 'Kobuta' means 'piglet'!"_

_Chikako's eyes filled with tears and anger when she heard her nickname._

_"S-Stop it! Don't call me that!" she sniffed._

_"Why are you called 'Chikakobuta', Chikakobuta?" Mio continued. "Is it because you are a little pig? You're definitely ugly as a pig! That's for sure!"_

_"Shut up!" Chikako yelled. She couldn't hold the tears inside anymore. She began sobbing heavily._

_"She's so ugly!" one of the other girls giggled. "I mean, just look at those huge glasses!"_

_"Haha, listen to the sounds she makes while crying." a boy said. "It's just like a pig!"_

_He made grunts with his nose, imitating Chikako's sobbing. Everyone laughed again. The gang was very amused by what was going on. More and more students were gathering around them, watching the scene. They all looked on with a mixture of interest and awe._

_"Poor little Chikakobuta." Mio giggled._

_She patted Chikako on the head, making an imitation of wanting to comfort her. Chikako angrily slapped away the girl's hand._

_The leader let go of her victim. She had an evil smile on her lips. She held up a finger in the air to get silence. She was about to finish the show._

_"You sure are ugly as a pig, but that is not the real reason for your name." she said. "No, the real reason for you being called 'Chikakobuta' is..."_

_She quickly grabbed Chikako's arm and rolled up her sleeve._

_"...because you squeal just like a pig!"_

_She pinched the skin on Chikako's arm heavily between two of her fingers. Chikako eeped. She rubbed the red mark on her arm._

_The gang laughed wildly. Most of the students who had gathered also did._

_"Did you hear that?" the other girl laughed. "It was just like a little pig's squeal! Whiiiiiiieeeeeeeee!"_

_She imitated Chikako's high-pitched nasal sound, much to everyone's amusement._

_"Alright, guys, let's go!" Mio said. "I don't want to waste any more time on this little loser."_

_All of them stood up and got their things. When they began leaving, the leader looked at the crying Chikako one last time and said:_

_"If you ever try to speak to us again, we'll do something really nasty to you. Goodbye."_

_As the gang left, the crowd of students began dropping off. Soon, everything had gone back to normal. The only one remaining was Chikako. She kept on crying. And no one came to comfort her._

* * *

><p>Chikako cried when she recalled the painful memories from elementary school.<p>

She had always been lonely. People had always made fun of her, in one way or another. Regardless of what she did, she had never got any respect or acceptance from the people she looked up too. All the cool guys and girls had always rejected her. The only ones that actually talked to her were the nerds and the losers, and she did not want to be with them.

As the years passed, she had become more and more desperate for attention. She had always longed to be popular. To be someone. To be one of the cool girls in class. Her loneliness, combined with her desperation for popularity, almost drove her crazy. In the end, she was ready to do anything that could give her a few minutes of fame. She had tried everything to impress her classmates. But to no avail. There had always been something she had done wrong. It was quite easy to understand why. She could not do anything special. She was simply not an interesting person.

After elementary school, she had entered junior high. At Holy Forest Academy, she had felt even more scared than before. Everyone was now older, and fashion and fame started to really matter. It became even more evident who were in and who were out in the class. All girls began wearing their skirts really short. The senior girls of the school walked around in the corridors with their noses in the air. They looked like goddesses. The rich, popular girls in class always made sure to show off to everyone how good they were. They wore gorgeous makeup, all the latest accessories and spoke about boys and the latest trends in Japan. Chikako had felt like such a child compared to them. She knew nothing about jewelry, makeup, pop idols or such things. She was just a shy girl with a big pair of glasses.

But then she had met Miyabi. She would always remember that day.

* * *

><p><em>She was late for class again. Holy Forest was a big school and she had not yet learnt where all classrooms were. She had shown up late earlier this week, and the teacher had been furious. Showing up late again would most certainly result in a call to her parents. She was running in the corridor trying to make it on time, desperately holding her skirt so it wouldn't expose anything. It felt uncomfortable and embarrassing having it so short, but that was the fashion at Holy Forest, imposed by the senior students and the cool girls, and no one dared to go against it.<em>

_She ran up a staircase. Then she stumbled on the highest step. She fell forwards down on the floor._

_"Owww!" she groaned. She felt a sharp pain in her right knee._

_She fought to hold back tears. She was late for class, she had been a complete klutz and her knee hurt. The whole day was ruined._

_Then she heard a voice._

_"Oh dear! Are you alright?"_

_She felt someone helping her up._

_"That looked like it hurt a lot. Are you okay?" the person said._

_Chikako turned to look at the person who had helped her._

_Then her jaw dropped. She forgot the pain in her knee and the embarrassment of the situation._

_Standing in front of her was the most gorgeous girl she had ever seen. Everything about her was beautiful. Her face was perfect. She looked like an angel._

_"Oh, I recognize you! You're in my class! What's your name?" the girl said and smiled._

_Her voice sounded warm and sweet._

_Chikako was so stunned by the beauty of the other girl that she couldn't find any words to say._

_When the other girl got no response, she laughed and put her hands on Chikako's shoulders._

_"Come ooon, sweetie, you have a name don't you? Did you lose your voice or something?"_

_Chikako finally got out of her trance._

_"Sh-Shirai. I am Chikako Shirai." she mumbled._

_"Chikako! Of course! I remember now. I like the sound of that! 'Chi-ka-ko'. A nice rhythm."_

_Chikako was amazed by the energy and confidence of the black haired girl in front of her. When she spoke, it felt like time stood still._

_"I am Aizawa, by the way. Miyabi Aizawa. Nice to meet you"._

_Miyabi took Chikako's hand and shook it strongly. Chikako could feel the power and strength of the other girl flow from her hand._

_Chikako remembered now. This was Miyabi Aizawa. She had been the queen of her former school, and her reputation had already started to pick up here at the Holy Forest. Even the seniors liked her and treated her as an equal. Chikako now understood why. With such a beauty and charisma, no one could dislike her._

_"Oh no!" Miyabi suddenly said, "We will be late for class! Hurry up! This place is such a maze, isn't it? I'll show you the way."_

_She took Chikako's hand and lead her to the classroom. Normally, Chikako would have been worried about showing up late for class, but when she felt the warmth of Miyabi's hand, she suddenly wasn't worried anymore._

* * *

><p>Chikako lay sleepless in her bed, staring up in the roof. She was pondering her feelings.<p>

She had thought that this meeting would be a onetime event. She never expected this flawless, angel like girl to care for her ever again. But she was wrong. The very same day after school. Miyabi had come up to her. They had walked home from school together. After a few more days, Miyabi had asked her to come over to her house. After that, they became friends. Chikako had been stunned by the girl's tenderness. She had never had someone caring for her like that. She had felt so lonely for such a long time.

In Miyabi, Chikako had finally found what she had always longed for. She had finally found a friend who really cared for her and accepted her the way she was, despite her ugliness and all her flaws. And she had all the fame and popularity Chikako had always wanted to have. Miyabi filled a void inside of her that had been there her whole life.

Miyabi had influenced her character in so many ways. She had taught Chikako about the important things you needed to know if you wanted to be popular, such as makeup usage and clothing styles. She had introduced her to all the important pop idols and tv series that were "in", the things the cool girls in school talked about.

Miyabi was rich and had a big room of her own filled with luxurious furniture and accessories. When Chikako had told Miyabi that she could not afford all the expensive makeup and accessories, Miyabi had lent her some of her own.

The makeover gave results almost immediately. It didn't take long before people in school actually started to see her. Not just the ordinary people, but even the most popular girls started to talk to her. At the same time, all the rude words and coldness she was so used to stopped at once. Chikako was now Miyabi's friend, and no one wanted to mess with Miyabi. Chikako had felt such a rush when the seniors in the class above her had begun a little chat in the corridor about the latest hit single on the radio, and she had actually been able to keep up the conversation. Suddenly, she was someone. She was important.

A little while later, Miyabi had introduced her to another close friend, Saeko Iijima. Chikako had been defensive and suspicious at first, but as it turned out, Saeko was a very sweet girl and a good friend. Soon they were Miyabi's two most loyal followers. Chikako spent all her days together with Miyabi and Saeko.

Chikako had always adored Miyabi's positive character and her beauty and strength. In the beginning, she had seen her as the perfect human being. A person without any flaws at all.

But soon, she had discovered Miyabi's more negative sides. Behind those warm eyes and that sweet smile there was a darker part hidden.

The first thing she discovered was that Miyabi was extremely manipulative and stubborn. She knew what she wanted to do and she took any measures to make things go her way. As soon as Miyabi was in a group, she took control immediately and became the center of attention. Few dared to go against Miyabi's will. She never forgave anyone who tried to mess with her or her plans. No matter how caring and loveable she normally was towards people, she held zero empathy for someone who had gone against her. If she felt someone had insulted her, she made sure this person was punished and put back in line again. Miyabi had the ability to bend people's wills until they matched her own. Using her own talents of dominating people while exploiting a person's weaknesses, she could make them do anything. Chikako, terrified of losing her newfound status and privileges, always fell victim of this.

Chikako thought back to one of those moments with Miyabi...

* * *

><p><em>The girls all met up at the café. School was done for the day, and now they wanted to relax and have fun. Chikako was there, and so was Saeko. Then there were some other girls Miyabi knew. Chikako didn't know much about them yet, but they seemed to be nice.<em>

_Chikako had now known Miyabi for a little more than a month. The last weeks had been amazing. She was so happy with her new friend. Her kindness, creativity and energy seemed to be endless. There was never a boring moment with Miyabi._

_Miyabi had not arrived yet. She had to get something at her house first. Chikako felt bored when Miyabi was not there. She didn't know anyone very well except for Saeko, and she was not very good at talking with unfamiliar people. Miyabi was the exact opposite. Miyabi was so charismatic and sweet that she made friends with everyone right from the beginning._

_Suddenly the door to the café opened, and Miyabi came in. She looked beautiful as always. She had obviously put on a little makeup while she was at home, which made her look even more beautiful than the rest of the girls. Chikako felt warm inside when she saw her good friend._

_"Hi everyone!" Miyabi said cheerfully. "Sorry I'm late. I hope you didn't have to wait too long."_

_Everyone quickly told Miyabi that everything was okay. All the girls were quiet and waited patiently until Miyabi had sat down by the table and ordered her drink. No one wanted to risk taking the word from her._

_When Miyabi had sat down and made herself comfortable, she began speaking:_

_"Hey girls, you've got to hear this. Do you know what happened to me yesterday?"_

_Of course no one knew. They all urged Miyabi to continue._

_"I was having a good lunch with some of my friends in the school cafeteria, then something happens..."_

_Miyabi paused and took a slow sip of her drink, for dramatic effect. It helped building up the tension. Chikako was very eager to hear what had happened._

_"So I was sitting there with my great friends...then comes - to our table - none other than...Satoshi Takahata!"_

_All the girls "oooh"-ed at the same time. Chikako was very surprised. Why had that boy approached Miyabi?_

_"As you probably know already, Takahata is the biggest jerk in the whole school. And he comes up to me. And then guess what: Guess what that little maggot does to me. Do you know what he does?"_

_Miyabi extended the pause in the longest, just to build up the tension some more. Then she dropped the bomb with full force._

_"...he asks me out! He asks for a date! With ME! That little nut head asks Miyabi Aizawa out for a date! In front of ALL my friends!"_

_All the girls yelled out in horror. Chikako felt disgusted. Satoshi Takahata was a fat, ugly and nerdy boy, one of the biggest losers in school, and he had gone up to the coolest girl to ask her out! What the hell had he been thinking? And to do it in front of all her friends! Didn't he see that it could damage Miyabi's reputation?_

_"That's so horrible!" Saeko whimpered. "Where did he get such an idea from?"_

_"I don't know. It's unbelievable!" Miyabi said. "I mean, I felt so humiliated. Being asked out by a low life like him! In front of all my friends! How could he do such a thing to me?"_

_"What a bastard!" one of the girls said. "I wish something bad would happen to him for what he did!"_

_Miyabi held up her hand to silence the other girls. She lowered her voice and got a mysterious glow in her eyes._

_"Actually..." she said. "...something will happen to him."_

_Miyabi smiled and closed her eyes. She took another sip of her drink. The girls urged her to explain further._

_"Of course I won't let him go without punishment. I actually planned something for him. Today. Right here at the café..."_

_"What do you mean?" Saeko asked._

_"It'll be more fun if you don't know all details from the beginning. But I'll tell you this: I actually met with him yesterday evening after school. I pretended that I was interested in going out with him, but that I was too shy to admit it in front of my friends, and then I told him that we could meet together, outside this café, today, around this time."_

_"What?" Chikako said. "He will come here now and be with us?"_

_"Shhh, Chikako!" Miyabi said and frowned at her. "There's more. After I said that to him, I borrowed his cell phone. I told him that I had lost my own and that I needed to call my mum for an urgent matter, and of course he was happy to lend his phone to me. Then I told him that it was a bit private, so he agreed to walk away so he couldn't hear what I was saying."_

_"And what did you do then?" Saeko asked._

_"I didn't talk to my mum. But I sent a text message from his cell phone to someone else. Then I deleted that message from the outgoing messages list on his cell phone so he wouldn't notice. Then I called my mum but hung up immediately, just so that her number would be listed in his outgoing calls list."_

_"What message did you send? And to whom?" Chikako asked._

_"You'll see soon." Miyabi said and smiled._

_After a few minutes, Miyabi pointed at the window._

_"There he is, guys! Out there on the street! Look everyone!" she said._

_"Won't he see us if we sit here by the window?" a girl asked._

_"No, the second floor windows of this cafe are like one-way mirrors. We can see out, but he can't see in. We can look how much we want. That's why I wanted to meet at this cafe."_

_Takahata stood outside the café, looking nervous and excited. He was wearing clothes that looked a bit expensive and way too formal. He had probably taken the best he had for this specific meeting, but his poor sense of fashion made him look like a clown._

_"Haha, what a little loser!" Saeko laughed. "Look how he stands there thinking he is gonna get a date with one of the coolest girls in school!"_

_"Exactly. And now I'll tell you what I did yesterday. I sent a message with his cell phone to Shingo Kamizaki. I wrote some very heavy insults and said that I wanted to meet here tomorrow...for a fight."_

_Miyabi giggled. The other girls looked at her in surprise._

_"Shingo Kamizaki? But he is like...the biggest bully in school." a girl said._

_"Yep! And I wrote him that he should bring his two friends too. Oh look! There they are!"_

_Miyabi cheered and pointed at three big guys who came up behind Takahata. It was Shingo and then his two friends Taro and Matsuda. They were extremely big guys who loved fighting and vandalism, and they looked very pissed off. When they saw Takahata, they began marching towards him with their fists tied. Takahata did not notice them. He was busy looking around for Miyabi._

_"Oh God..." Saeko said._

_The three bullies grabbed Takahata. Then everything went as expected. They gave him a heavy beating. They punched him, pushed him down on the ground and kicked him. When they were done, they went away laughing. Takahata was crawling on the ground. His clothes were messed up, and he was bleeding from his lip and his nose._

_Chikako stared at the scene. She looked at the victim down on the street, then at Miyabi who laughed cruelly. Saeko and the other girls were laughing too, but some of them looked a bit shocked._

_"Oh my God, did you see that? Did you SEE? That was hilarious! I die, hahaha!"_

_Miyabi looked like she was about to explode from laughter._

_Chikako was worried. And she actually felt a little sad for the boy. He was one of the dorks of Holy Forest, just like she used to be in her old school. He often got picked on by others. Chikako knew that feeling, that's why she felt sorry for him. He was already a miserable character, and even though he had done a very bad thing against Miyabi, she felt this punishment was way too hard._

_"Hahaha, he got what he deserved, that little rat!" Miyabi laughed. "Now he'll never bother me again!"_

_"Y-yeah...but Miyabi..." Chikako began._

_"What?"_

_"Did he really deserve all THAT? I mean, he did a very careless thing against you, but...it's not like he intended to hurt you or anything..."_

_"So what? He's a jerk, and he offended me. That's all that matters. Who cares what happens to him?"_

_"But that wasn't...very nice, I think. That was quite a...you know, a bad thing to do..." Chikako had difficulties trying to explain what she meant without sounding too harsh._

_Suddenly, Miyabi changed. With the blink of an eye, her smile and glittering eyes were gone. She stared at Chikako coldly. Her face was blank. You could almost feel the temperature decrease inside the cafe. All the other girls stopped looking out the window and began staring at her._

_"What do you mean, Shirai? Do you think I'm bad? Do you think I'm a bad person?" Miyabi said._

_Chikako didn't understand. The Miyabi she knew was completely gone. That warm energy she always felt from Miyabi was not there anymore. Now she only felt an intense coldness from the black-haired girl._

_"No, I..."_

_"You think I'm a bad person, don't you? You think I am rotten inside!"_

_"No! I don't think so! I didn't say that!"_

_Chikako began to panic. Miyabi seemed to be hurt and angry. Chikako had never meant to hurt her!_

_Miyabi turned around and looked at the other girls in the group. She put her back towards Chikako. Chikako felt a cold feeling inside her stomach._

_"Shirai thinks I'm evil! She hates me! Do you others hate me too?" Miyabi asked the others._

_The other girls quickly assured Miyabi they didn't. Saeko put her hands around Miyabi and held her close to her. Then all of Miyabi's friends looked at Chikako. Their eyes were ice cold._

_Miyabi turned around and stared at Chikako again. Her eyes were filled with anger._

_"If you think I'm a bad person you might as well buzz off! Why should I spend time with someone who hates me?"_

_Chikako was now in deep panic. She realized where this was going._

_"I'm sorry, Miyabi! I'm sorry!" she said desperately. "I made a mistake! Please forgive me!"_

_Chikako was almost crying._

_The rage in Miyabi's eyes died out and her face softened. She looked into Chikako's eyes._

_"Do you mean it?" she said quietly._

_"Yes! Yes! I apologize! Please forgive me!" Chikako pleaded._

_Then Miyabi changed back. She began smiling. Life came back in her eyes. That warm energy flowed towards Chikako once again._

_"It's alright, Chikako-dear, I understand. We all make mistakes sometimes. I forgive you."_

_The coldness in Miyabi's voice was gone. Now it sounded full of love and power._

_Chikako felt such a relief she was nearly crying. Hearing Miyabi saying 'Chikako-dear' with that sweet voice felt so wonderful. Miyabi's energy had been missing for only a few moments, but it had felt like an eternity. Chikako felt she could not live without that warm energy source._

_Miyabi put her hands on Chikako's shoulders and looked her in the eyes. Chikako could feel the heat flowing through her body. She felt hypnotized staring into Miyabi's eyes._

_"Chikako, I will tell you a little story. Listen to me now."_

_"Yes."_

_"There are two kinds of people in this world. Those who count, and those who don't. The people who count are the ones who are beautiful. The ones who are strong, rich and talented. They are the ones who matter in our society. Do you understand?"_

_"I do."_

_"The ones who don't count are the ugly. Those who are weak, poor and worthless. They have no talent and they do not contribute anything to our society. Do you follow?"_

_"Yes."_

_"Because of this, we should only care about the ones who count. We should ignore the ones who don't count. They have no value whatsoever, so why should we feel sorry for them? Why should we even care what happens to them?"_

_"You're right."_

_"It's the people who count that matters. You know, people like you and me. You, Chikako. And me. People like the two of us."_

_It felt lovely hearing Miyabi saying those words. Miyabi felt she was important. Miyabi felt she was someone to care for. Chikako felt so happy. Miyabi was such a good friend._

_Chikako looked back to the boy again. He had crawled up and began walking away from the café. He was limping a bit. Suddenly, she saw everything with new eyes. He was indeed very pathetic. Come to think of it, he was a complete jerk! Miyabi was totally right! That boy was worthless, and he deserved what had happened to him._

_Chikako felt the blood rush inside of her. She was not a dork like him! She was one of the cool girls. She was part of Miyabi's gang._

_Suddenly Miyabi clapped her hands loudly. The sudden noise made everyone jump._

_"Alright! Enough of this nonsense! I want to have some fun! What do you say about some karaoke, girls?" she said and raised her hand up in the air._

_Everyone cheered and clapped their hands. After the emotional turmoil, they all wanted to have some fun to get the stress out. Chikako felt ecstatic. She really wanted to sing her heart out together with Miyabi and the other cool girls! She couldn't wait to walk through town as part of Miyabi's group._

_Following Miyabi, the group of girls headed out in town._

* * *

><p>Chikako gritted her teeth from the sadness and humiliation she felt inside. Kikuchi had been right about everything he had said. She had been nothing but a fool. At that time, she had been sure that her thoughts had been her own. She had been sure that everything Miyabi had said had been true. Now she knew it had all been a lie. She had been manipulated. Miyabi had played on Chikako's fear for being left out of the group, and she had made Chikako submit to her rules and ideals in every aspect.<p>

The worst part was that this dark energy had grown stronger for every day. Day by day, she had got more and more used to being part of Miyabi's group and think of herself as one of the cool girls in school. Eventually, she had forgotten how it had felt like being an outsider and a dork. But now that she lay here in bed, all the old feelings of loneliness and humiliation, which she had buried so deep inside herself, came back. She now realized that the only thing that had really happened was that she had gradually turned colder and less sensitive of people's emotions. She had developed a black and white way of thinking about people. Either they were important or they were worth nothing.

She had always looked on with amusement when the loser girls in class had sacrificed their dignity just to get to be close to Miyabi, and how Miyabi had used them for a while just to throw them away when her plans were done. But to tell the truth, had it not been the same with her? She thought back to the time when she, Miyabi and Saeko had used Tomoko in their plan to get rid of Onizuka, and how they had punished Tomoko afterwards when she had screwed up. She had laughed at Tomoko's desperation, her pathetic hopes of getting accepted by Miyabi, and she had happily participated in the harassment. At that time, she had been happy with her position next to Miyabi. But now she knew better. She was no different from Tomoko. She had gone through the same process. It had just been drawn out longer.

Miyabi had even made her give up her true hobby. Since she met Miyabi, she had never drawn a single picture, never read a single manga and never watched a single anime. It used to be her favourite thing in the world. The only thing she was really good at. But she had given it all away. And she had done it only because Miyabi had told her how much she hated it.

Her blind devotion to Miyabi and her own weakness towards Miyabi's manipulation had made her swallow her pride any time she was hit by an insult or any mistreatment. At that time, she had been able to suppress her sadness and pain. But now that she knew of Miyabi's horrible betrayal, all the memories from the numerous moments when Miyabi had been mean to her rose up to the surface.

This was the second negative trait of Miyabi she had soon learned about. Miyabi had no respect for other people's feelings and showed very little remorse for her actions. Miyabi had no problem with being reckless with people's emotions if it would entertain her or some of her other friends. Her personality was so strange sometimes. One day, she could be the kindest girl on Earth, and then suddenly, she could do something really cruel to someone. Numerous times, she had made fun of Chikako just to get a laugh out of people around her. It was true that she usually apologized in some kind of way and tried to make up to people for her misbehaviour, but it never felt like she really meant it. Her way of apologizing felt more like a charade. It helped for making the other people around her believe she was honest. But Chikako herself had never felt that Miyabi was truly sorry when she had hurt someone's feelings.

Chikako thought back to one painful memory with Miyabi. A specific time when Miyabi had been really mean...

* * *

><p><em>They had all gathered at Miyabi's house. Miyabi had arranged a sleep over party for all the popular girls she knew. Of course everyone came. You never wanted to miss a party at Miyabi's place. When Miyabi told you to come, you came. IF you were invited, that is. Miyabi only invited the ones she felt were important enough.<em>

_Everyone was sitting in the living room. Miyabi's parents were away for several days, so the girls had the whole house for themselves. They had put all their mattresses and blankets all over the living room floor. Now they were all dressed in their pajamas and had rolled up in their blankets. The atmosphere was cosy and exciting._

_Chikako had loved the party. She could not believe she was at the same party as all the popular girls in her class! And not only her own class, but other popular girls from other classes. Even some girls from the senior classes were there! Miyabi had so many connections and friends all over school. Chikako felt like she was in heaven. She could not wait to tell the less popular people at school that she had been at a party at Miyabi's place, with all the popular girls of the school. While being extremely excited, she also felt a bit nervous. She loved being part of the popular girls' gang, but at the same time, she was afraid of making a mistake or screwing up. If she made a fool out of herself, she would embarrass Miyabi and risk getting disowned by the seniors and the other cool girls._

_Miyabi was the center of attention as usual. She was entertaining her guests by impersonating various teachers and persons at school. Miyabi had excellent acting skills and was very good at making different expressions with her face. She got everything right. She mimicked the voices, faces and gestures of everyone perfectly. All her guests were laughing their brains out. Chikako was too. The atmosphere was wonderful._

_"Oh God! Oh God! That was perfect, Miyabi!" one of the girls said._

_"Do another one, please!"_

_"Alright alright!" Miyabi said and waved her hand to make the people keep quiet. "Let's see, which one should I do? Hmmm..."_

_Miyabi was thinking for a few seconds, then she got an idea._

_"Alright! I know! Who is this?"_

_Miyabi squeezed her eyes tightly and pulled up her nose so that her nostrils became very large._

_"Hey yuu! Wai are yuu rate for crass! Haff yuu learn my worse?"_

_Everyone burst out in laughter._

_"Hahaha it's Sakurai-sensei! The English teacher!"_

_Chikako was almost crying of laughter. It was a perfect imitation. Those huge nostrils that looked like a socket in the wall and that heavy Japanese accent that was so thick that even his own students could hear how wrong it was, despite being much younger and less experienced with the English language than he was._

_"Whoa, maybe that's enough for tonight." Miyabi said and took a deep breath._

_"Nooo! One more, please!" Her audience pleaded._

_"Hmm, alright then. One more." she said after the audience had begged enough._

_Miyabi put her hands in front of her eyes and formed each hand into a giant ring. It looked like she was wearing a giant pair of glasses. Then she made her eyes huge and spoke in a nasal voice:_

_"Geee I am blind as a bat without my glasses!". Then her voice rose into a high-pitched squeal: "Oh no! I spilled a whole cup of juice all over myself! I'm all messed up!"_

_People giggled out of pure excitement, despite not knowing who Miyabi was imitating. All of them tried to figure it out._

_The only one not making a sound was Chikako. The smile on her face faded._

_Suddenly, Saeko began laughing._

_"I know it! I know it! It's Chikako! It's Chikako!" she giggled while clapping her hands._

_Everyone laughed. Louder and longer than on any other one of Miyabi's imitations._

_"Oh my God! It IS her!"_

_"It looks exactly like her!"_

_"The voice is perfect too!"_

_Miyabi could not keep a straight face anymore. She began laughing wildly along with the other girls._

_Chikako felt like everything around her was a blur. The girls' laughter felt like it came from somewhere far away. She felt like something inside her had just died._

_The worst thing was not that Miyabi had imitated her._

_The worst thing was that it looked EXACTLY like her._

_Her face, her giant pair of glasses, her voice...Miyabi got it all right. It was like looking at a photograph. It felt like a punch in the belly. And the worst part was that the one doing this was her closest friend. The one she trusted with her life._

_Miyabi knew very well that Chikako had a complex about her face. She knew how sensitive Chikako was about getting ridiculed for her appearance. She had always been kind with Chikako and had never before said anything mean about how she looked. So why did she do this now all of a sudden? How could she come up with such an idea? Just to get a few laughs out of her other friends? And why had she only imitated Chikako, and no one else?_

_Chikako had no more fun at the party after that incident. Of course she had still socialized with the others, but she felt like only her body was there. Her mind was far, far away. The whole rest of the evening, she had to fight hard to hold her tears back. Somehow she managed. When they finally went to bed and the lights were out, she had to bury her head deep into her pillow and blanket to make sure no one heard her crying._

_The morning after had been even worse. Chikako had tried to talk to Miyabi about it, and Miyabi had apologized to her. But it didn't sound like it came from the heart. Miyabi treated the whole thing like it had been a slight misunderstanding, and not a heavy personal insult. Chikako had looked into Miyabi's eyes to try to see her true feelings, but there was nothing there. There was neither true remorse nor a sadistic glee. Her eyes just looked cheerful as usual. She probably didn't reflect upon this at all. It was probably something she just did out of a sudden impulse._

_Next day at school, Chikako had felt for a little while like she didn't want to spend time with Miyabi. But then everyone talked about the party, and all the unpopular kids had asked Chikako how the party had been. And with that, Chikako had gone back to her normal self. She could not resist the urge to shine in front of others. To feel popular and important. She had told all of them how great the party had been, how funny Miyabi had been imitating people and what a good host she had been. When someone had asked Chikako about their relation, Chikako had said that they were best friends. And everyone had felt so jealous._

* * *

><p>Chikako sighed. She watched the moon outside the window. She had let Miyabi walk all over her countless times. Maybe she had deserved it? Maybe it had been her own fault? With her low self esteem and weak mind it was not strange that she had been turned into Miyabi's bitch.<p>

She no longer felt dead inside. Of course, she didn't feel fine. No, far from it. But at least she had sorted out some of her feelings. She had begun to accept the weakness of her own character. She had begun to understand why she had behaved the way she did. Somehow, she would probably be able to live with the humiliation one day. She would be able to accept that she had been Miyabi's little servant.

But there was one thing that still tormented her endlessly. A thorn of cold ice still buried deep into her heart. The worst thing of all was that Miyabi had betrayed her and lied her right in the face. She had told Chikako's most sensitive and most well-kept secrets to the others. How could someone be so cold hearted? How could someone do such a thing to another person?

* * *

><p><em>It was getting late. Chikako and Miyabi were at Miyabi's place. Chikako was staying there over night. Saeko had caught a flu and could not come, so Chikako had a whole evening for herself with Miyabi, something that rarely happened.<em>

_So far, the whole day had been wonderful. Miyabi had come up with a lot of fun stuff to do. She was always so creative with things. There was never a dull moment with Miyabi. Chikako had enjoyed every second. Being with Miyabi without Saeko being there also had other benefits. Chikako could come closer to Miyabi, something she always longed for._

_Around that time, Miyabi had asked Chikako if they should tell each other secrets and personal things they had never told anyone else. Chikako was overjoyed with this. She had felt this was the chance she had been looking for. The chance to get closer to Miyabi and let Saeko drop down to the third spot._

_However, in her excitement, Chikako had forgotten that this had made her an open target. And it didn't take long for Miyabi to find Chikako's most hidden secret._

_"Okay, my turn!" Miyabi said._

_"Come on, ask me anything." Chikako said, blushing slightly._

_"Hmm okay...what should I ask? Let's see...yes, now I know!"_

_Miyabi sat up and moved closer to Chikako. She took Chikako's hands and held them._

_"Tell me: what is the worst thing somebody ever called you? I mean as an insult or a taunt. Did you ever have a nickname?"_

_Chikako got in a shock. She gasped for air and stared at Miyabi._

_"Uh...Y-yes, I had, but...I...I don't want to tell..." she whimpered._

_Miyabi looked disappointed._

_"Whaaat? Why not? Why can't you tell me?"_

_"It's just...It's too personal. I'm quite sensitive with that..."_

_Miyabi put her hands on Chikako's shoulders and looked her into the eyes. She always did this when she wanted to persuade her into doing something. And it always worked._

_"No fair!" she complained. "I just answered your question a minute ago. We promised eachother we could tell the other one anything. We are friends, aren't we?"_

_"Yes, I know. I-I'm sorry. But I just can't...Please understand..." Chikako didn't dare to look into Miyabi's eyes. She felt like she was betraying her best friend._

_Miyabi put her arms around Chikako and held her close. She stroke her hair gently._

_"Come on. You can tell me. We are close friends. Why are you so afraid? Do you think I will make fun of you?"_

_Chikako's heart raced as she felt the warmth of Miyabi's body and the softness in her voice._

_"Um...I..."_

_"Look, I promise I won't tell anyone, okay? Your secret is safe with me. Always."_

_"Alright then. I'll tell..."_

_Miyabi clapped her hands and giggled._

_"Yay! Tell me! Tell me!"_

_"Okay..." Chikako took a deep breath. "When I was in elementary school, people always used to call me...Chikakobuta."_

_Miyabi stared at Chikako for a second, then she laughed._

_"Ahahahaha! 'Chikakobuta'? What kind of name is that? Hahaha!"_

_Chikako felt angry and hurt. How could Miyabi laugh at her!_

_"Sh-shut up! Stop laughing! It's not funny! I hate that name! It has tormented me my whole life!"_

_Chikako was close to crying. This was a very sensitive issue._

_Miyabi stopped laughing when she saw the pain in Chikako's eyes. She moved closer and held her again._

_"I'm sorry, Chikako-dear. I didn't mean to laugh. Was that so bad? It's just a nickname, you know. Most of us has had a nickname sometime. No one at Holy Forest knows that name, do they?"_

_"It doesn't matter. I hate that name. I just hate it. You can say what you want. Maybe everyone else would think that I am taking it too seriously, but that's just how it is. That name has followed me all my life until I entered here at Holy Forest. I hate it. I hate when people say it, and I hate when they laugh at me because of it..." Chikako whispered._

_"I'm sorry. You must understand, I didn't laugh to hurt you. It's just...that name was so crazy. I never expected such a thing."_

_"I understand...but it's very sensitive for me. Please don't laugh. I...I can't handle it..."_

_"I see. I'm sorry. I will never use that name, and I will never laugh at you like that again."_

_Chikako took a breath._

_"You promise?"_

_"I promise."_

_"Promise you won't tell that name to anyone. Not even to Saeko, okay? I don't want her to find out, even if she is our close friend."_

_"It's no problem. I won't tell her or anyone else. Your secret is safe with me."_

_Chikako felt relaxed when she heard that. She trusted Miyabi._

* * *

><p>A single teardrop ran down Chikako's cheek. The only one that she had left. After all the crying, there were no more tears inside of her. Now she only felt bitterness.<p>

"You promised me you wouldn't tell anyone. You promised, and still, you gave it away. My most precious secret. How could you do such a thing to me?" she whispered quietly out in the darkness.

She sighed again. Suddenly, she felt so tired. She felt completely drained. The alarm clock showed 2:00 AM. She just wanted to sleep. In fact, she wished she would never wake up. She wished she could just go to sleep and never return to this cold, cruel world.

Finally, she drifted into darkness...


	5. Chapter 5

**CHAPTER 5**

The rest of the Okinawa trip had been a challenge. The first time after that horrible night had been a hell. Chikako had felt so low. Her pride was gone and she did not even dare to look into the eyes of her classmates, nor could she manage to speak to them. She even shied away from the ones who had never been directly involved with her and Miyabi. The fact that everyone had known her secrets and had always seen her as nothing more than Miyabi's slave was too much for her to handle.

Chikako had been afraid that the others would taunt her or pick on her because of the weakness and fear she now showed, but what really happened was in fact the opposite. Her classmates felt sorry for her. Even though most of them were totally unaware of what had happened in the hotel room, everyone noticed something was wrong with her. And everyone tried to be kind and cheer her up.

This only made Chikako feel worse. Not only did she have to feel depressed, but now she also felt ashamed. Even though she at first had wished desperately that her classmates wouldn't be mean towards her, she had soon begun to wish the complete opposite. With all the shame she felt, she wanted them to hate her, to be vengeful towards her, to freeze her out. If they would, she could at least hate them back and pity herself. But now she was trapped. The more she tried to shut herself, the more they worried about her and the more eager they became to make her happy. They asked if she wanted to do things with them, they tried to buy her drinks and other things, they offered to carry her bags, and much more.

She now understood for real how much they had changed since Onizuka had come to them. Just a year ago, the classroom had been a place where fear and hostility ruled. All the kids had always talked about how they had been close friends, but the truth was that the class had been more like a reign of terror. There had been only one rule: the law of the jungle. Eat or be eaten. If you ever showed weakness, you were crushed without mercy. Chikako had kept following this rule so blindly that she had been unaware of how her classmates had gradually evolved around her. But now her eyes were open for the first time. Her classmates had developed a new kind of friendship with eachother. A friendship based on empathy and mutual respect. Chikako didn't understand where their warm and soft feelings came from. She had never thought that these brutes and bitches could actually care deeply for a weak person like her. Despite that her classmates knew of her true personality, and despite the coldness she had shown towards them together with Miyabi and Saeko, they still felt that she was part of the class, and they wanted her to be happy together with them.

Saeko had also been very persistent with her. After all, she was the one who knew her the most. Saeko had quickly found out about what had happened. She had seen Chikako running out of the room white in the face, and had immediately gone in there to interrogate the boys about what they had done. Chikako still liked Saeko a lot, and had deeply appreciated that she had tried to make Kikuchi and the boys feel guilty about the incident. However, the truth was that the time right after that event, she could not manage a conversation with her. Saeko was simply too involved in the Miyabi affair. Saeko knew too much about her personality. She knew every single embarrassing detail of the whole story.

Chikako felt so sad about how wrong she had been about Saeko. Before, she had always seen Miyabi as her closest friend and had felt that Saeko was slightly annoying and often got in her way. But now the truth was obvious. It was Saeko who was the caring one. Miyabi had betrayed her and had been reckless with her feelings. Saeko had never been rude with her, and now she tried her very best to cheer her up.

Now she understood that Saeko's relationship to Miyabi had been different from hers. Saeko and Miyabi had been genuine friends. A more equal kind of friendship. Of course, Miyabi had always been the leader and Saeko had always followed her orders, but she had never had the kind of slave-master relationship that Chikako and Miyabi had always had.

* * *

><p>As time passed, Chikako's mood finally started to improve. She didn't exactly feel happy, but she regained some of her confidence and dared to open herself again to her classmates. She managed to have full conversations with them and could even smile at a few occasions. She started to spend time again with Saeko. But their relationship was clearly strained by what had happened. Both girls were tense and tiptoed around the topics of conversation. Both of them had avoided the subject about Miyabi at all costs.<p>

One of the most stressful moments had been when she had been forced to walk together with Fujiyoshi through the haunted house. Another one of Onizuka's 'brilliant' ideas. Even though the house was dark and scary and she hated haunted mansions, her inner turmoil somehow made her numb. Despite the nasty interior and all the stupid pranks that Onizuka and Fuyutsuki pulled off, she never really felt deeply afraid.

She had felt very uneasy walking in there together with Fujiyoshi. The fact that she and Miyabi had used him in their plan and that he had been in the hotel room with her and Kikuchi made her feel ashamed. It didn't help that he didn't seem to hold any animosity at all towards her. Inside the old house, Fujiyoshi had told her that even though he had been angered by Miyabi's and Chikako's setup, he had never approved of the way Kanzaki had extracted revenge upon them or the way Kikuchi had told her the truth about Miyabi. He had said that he felt sorry for her, and he had offered her to wipe the slate clean. He wanted to put an end to all the bad blood between them. He wanted them all to go back to the way they used to be before. When they were all friends.

Chikako had felt intense guilt when he had said those words. She had not dared to answer Fujiyoshi or to look in his eyes. 'Wipe the slate clean?' How could she go back to before? There was no going back. She had only been living a lie ever since she entered Holy Forest. Her world had faded to ashes and she was now desperately trying to build a new life. At least the others had their friendship and their own feelings of self-worth. She had none of them. She had been a powerless pawn. She was worth nothing compared to kind people like Fujiyoshi. He was simply too good for her. The whole class was too good for someone like her.

* * *

><p>The trip was over, and everyone was back in their same old classroom, in their same old school uniforms. Chikako sat quietly at her desk and looked at her classmates.<p>

Back here in their old environment, it was even more obvious how much they had changed during the trip. In fact, she barely recognized some of them. Everyone seemed so relaxed. They seemed a lot more grown up, and they seemed to be a lot closer than before. Well, everyone except her, of course.

People were passing around pictures from the trip. The whole class seemed to be in a good mood. Everyone was laughing, joking and smiling. Chikako kept her smile up and looked at the pictures together with her classmates, even though she was not very happy nor very interested. There were all kinds of pictures. Funny ones, stupid ones, cool ones. There were not that many pictures of her. Yes, there were some, and yes, she was smiling in almost all of them, but that had not been honest. Chikako was in the photos mostly because she had happened to be around when someone had had a camera and people had begged her to join in. She had not joined in because she actually felt like she wanted to. Chikako loathed photographs as much as mirrors. Anything that copied and presented her ugly face in full detail to the world was subject of her intense hate.

There was lots of chatter in the classroom. Everyone had conversations about the pictures. Anko was upset that Saeko had taken a picture of her when she had been asleep and had saliva all over her chin. Chikako was baffled over what she saw. Under normal circumstances, Saeko would be dead before the day was over. Anko never allowed anyone to catch her in embarrassing situations and get away with it. Normally, she would gather Asano and Izumi right away and get revenge upon Saeko.

But something was different with Anko now. She didn't look the way she used to. Those cold, menacing eyes were no longer there. Instead, her eyes now had a new spark in them. They looked warm. For the first time, Chikako saw tenderness in Anko's eyes. And that was not all. Her behaviour had changed too. When Anko thought no one noticed, she looked over at Yoshikawa every now and then. And when she looked at him, her eyes were glittering.

Any time Yoshikawa caught her gaze by accident, Anko quickly looked away and blushed. Chikako couldn't believe what she was seeing. Anko was acting like a shy little girl. This ruthless bitch used to have a face carved in stone. How was this face even capable of making such expressions? And how could Anko feel anything for a weak boy like Yoshikawa? She had been abusing him physically and mentally for years! Chikako was aware there had been rumors going around in Okinawa. After Anko and Yoshikawa had got lost, they had been found on a beach in only their underwear, sitting close to each other. Later on, they had been assigned to walk together through the haunted house, a trip that had taken twice as long as the other students. Could there be something going on between them? Something like...love? No, that was impossible. Chikako was sure that Anko could never feel love or empathy for another human being.

Chikako looked at Saeko. In difference to herself, Saeko had managed to adapt quite well to the new situation when Miyabi was gone. During the Okinawa trip, Saeko had got contact with the classmates, and new relationships had begun to develop. She had already made a lot of new friends. Saeko had also started to develop a new character trait. She had become a bit of a prankster, pulling various stunts and innocent practical jokes on her classmates. The secret pictures was one of those jokes. Not only Anko, but also Murai got a taste of it. Saeko had taken a picture of Murai when he was asleep and had his pants down with pencils stuck up his butt. Naturally, Murai got all furious and began chasing Saeko all over the classroom when he saw the pictures. Saeko was squealing hysterically like a little girl and tried to run away from him, but eventually she got caught.

Chikako felt angry and jealous when she saw Murai and Saeko, even though she didn't show it. It was clearly evident that Saeko was only faking and got caught by Murai on purpose. Saeko knew very well that she was faster than him and easily could get away if she wanted to. She only did this to get attention from him and the rest of the class.

Murai wrestled Saeko up against a desk and held her down. Then he began tickling her with his free hand. Saeko was very ticklish and began screaming and laughing hysterically while pleading for her dear life. Murai made her apologize to him and the rest of the class. Everyone laughed. Murai's face was red and he spoke with a loud voice, but you could tell that he was not angry for real. Both he and Saeko clearly enjoyed this charade. Chikako felt disgusted by their childish game. She felt even more lonely when she saw how well Saeko was doing. In her desperation, she had begun talking with her classmates about arrangements for distributing the pictures to prevent her true emotions from showing.

The time in the classroom had been difficult, but endurable. Faking a smile and keeping up a conversation was not too difficult once you got used to it. Chikako had managed to get around without too much trouble.

But then everything crashed. Something happened that made the warm atmosphere and the happy voices die down at once.

That's when Miyabi had entered the room.

Chikako had actually been worried about how she would handle this situation. As long as she had been at Okinawa, she had been far away from Miyabi and hadn't had to worry. But now she was back in her school again, and she would have to face Miyabi sooner or later. She had been thinking about numerous scenarios, but each one of them seemed impossible for her. The big problem was all the conflicting emotions that flowed through her body.

One part of her wanted to walk up directly to Miyabi and tell her right in her face how angry and hurt she felt. Another part of her wanted to ignore her and never speak to her again. The only problem for Chikako was that she was so scared. She didn't dare to let out her anger at Miyabi, and she felt too insecure to gather up enough guts to actively ignore her.

But once Miyabi entered that classroom, all Chikako's plans and scenarios vanished into thin air.

The Miyabi who now stood in front of her was not the same as she had once known.

The first thing most people had noticed was that she had dyed her hair blue. But to tell the truth, the hair color was the last thing Chikako focused on.

The energetic girl Chikako had once adored so much was no longer there. The Miyabi she now saw was just a shell of her former self. This Miyabi looked like a pale ghost. A body that had lost its soul.

Her eyes, once so full of life, were now dead. There was no emotion in there anymore. Her eyes were so dark and tense that her pupils looked like big bottomless pits. She had lost weight, and her school uniform looked oversized. It hung miserably from her pale, skinny body. Her arms and legs, once full of athletic vigor, now looked like withered tree branches about to fall apart.

The girl who had once been referred to as the queen of the school had now fallen. She had lost her kingdom and her servants.

Miyabi had talked to the class. She had called them all traitors. She had walked up to Chikako and Saeko and declared that their friendship was now over. Saeko had tried desperately to talk to her, but Miyabi had been ice cold. Chikako had been so horrified of what she had seen that she hadn't been able to say anything. Instead, she had become completely paralyzed, unable to do anything.

The most horrible thing had been when Miyabi had ripped apart the photographs. She had done it with such strength and determination that you could feel her intense hate raining down on you. Chikako had felt sick. Numerous questions had spun around inside her terrified mind. They popped up again and again until she felt like she was going insane. Was this Miyabi's true form? Was this who Miyabi really was deep inside? Deep beneath that angellike surface, had she always been like this?

Miyabi had always been a fountain of happiness for other people. Anytime she had entered a room, people had lightened up and joy had spread everywhere. Now that fountain had dried out. Miyabi was still the center of attention, but for a whole new reason. Instead of being like a sun who emitted energy towards everyone, she was now like a black hole. She was a big black hole of hate that sucked the life out of everyone.

* * *

><p>Chikako stood in the women's bathroom with her face wet from cold water. She held on tightly to the sink for a few moments, then slowly took a towel and dried her face. She tried to get her breathing under control.<p>

Encountering Miyabi in the classroom was one of the most fearful experiences she had ever had. When Miyabi was there, she hadn't been able to get a word out of her mouth. She had just sat there, eyes wide open, completely white in the face.

She sighed and felt bitter humiliation inside of her. A feeling she was well familiar with by now. She was such a coward. She had happily tagged along in any risky plan as long as Miyabi had orchestrated it. But on her own, she was like a scared little animal.

The worst thing was not that she had shown fear in front of the others. After all, most people in class had. The worst thing was that she now was painfully aware of how strong Miyabi's influence over her still was. Back at Okinawa, Chikako had sometimes been day dreaming about getting revenge upon Miyabi. She had imagined scenes where a tearful Miyabi kneeled to her and asked for forgiveness, only to receive a treatment as horrible and humiliating as the one Chikako had experienced herself.

But reality was far from her imagination. Chikako was sure that if Miyabi had told her to get down on her knees and kiss her feet, she would have done so. If Miyabi would have hit her in the face, she would have stood there, taking everything without trying to protest or protect herself.

Chikako didn't remember all that had happened in the classroom. After Miyabi had ripped apart the photographs, most had turned into a blur. She tried to recall what Miyabi had said. Miyabi and Kanzaki had fought, but she didn't remember what they had talked about. She remembered something about Miyabi mentioning 'Mayu', right before she had jumped out of the window and got onto a bike with some guy. Chikako felt confused. Would Mayu come back to class? He hadn't attended school for almost a year. Miyabi was a master of making complicated plans. Was she planning something against everyone in class?

She sighed again and stood up. She knew that she could not go on like this forever. She had to do something sooner or later. She would encounter Miyabi again, and who knew what would happen that time? She had to search her feelings and decide on what to do.

Either way, she knew she probably had to meet Miyabi face to face and talk to her someday. In one way, she really wanted to tell Miyabi her true feelings. But where could she find the courage to do that? And when could she have a good opportunity to talk to her? Miyabi was good at making friends. She would probably surround herself with a new batch of girls. And who knew what would happen if she decided to unleash their force just to get revenge upon her former friend...

She waited until she had got her nerves back under control and then left the bathroom. During the rest of the day in school, she found herself looking behind her back nervously over and over again. She tried to force herself to stop, but she kept on doing it. She didn't want to be such a coward. Fortunately for her, Miyabi had not come back to school that day.

* * *

><p>School was over. Chikako walked down the street on her way home, dodging people on bicycles and crowds of elementary school students flowing towards her on the pavement. The time was 3:00 PM. She had no good idea of what to do after school. Before, she had always met up with Miyabi and Saeko for a good time. Now she was alone. Of course she could have called up Saeko, but she didn't feel like it. Just the thought of visiting all their favourite karaoke places and shopping malls, where they had always gone to when Miyabi had been with them, made her sick.<p>

Before she arrived at the main street leading to her house, she turned around a corner and walked into a small yard. She was thirsty and wanted to buy a drink from one of the vending machines standing there.

Then she froze.

Standing in front of one of the vending machines was Miyabi. Everyone would easily recognize her now because of the blue hair, but Chikako didn't need that to know it was her. Chikako would recognize Miyabi anywhere, even in a pitch black, silent room. She could feel when Miyabi was near.

Miyabi was buying something from the vending machine and had her back against Chikako. She had not noticed her. Either that or she simply ignored her. There was a distance of about eight meters between the two girls, so it was possible that Miyabi hadn't heard her coming.

Chikako just stood still, gasping for air. The world was spinning. She almost started to hyperventilate.

She was alone with her former best friend. Alone at quiet, secluded place with no other people.

She wanted to run away.

But somehow, her feet didn't move. She just stood still without saying a word.

_'Why am I just standing here? Why don't I run?' _she thought.

Then she reflected upon the situation. She was alone with her former best friend. It was only her and Miyabi. No one else. No classmates or friends who could drop any comments. No teachers or adults who could try to intervene.

_'No...'_, she thought to herself. _'No way...'_

She swallowed and closed her eyes.

_'I can't keep on running. I can't be weak my whole life. I said to myself that I must talk to her. I must let her know what she has done to me. I must begin to build up a new life for myself, and cut all the old ties. That's the first step...'_

She gathered all her strength and took a small step forwards. Her legs were shaking_. 'She is all alone. This is probably the best chance I'll ever get.'_, she thought. She forced herself to take another step. Then another. She slowly moved forwards. For every step she took, it felt harder and harder to breathe.

She stopped when she was right behind the blue haired girl.

"Miyabi..." she said to her former friend. Her voice was trembling a bit.

Miyabi didn't react. She continued to push the buttons on the vending machine.

"Miyabi!" Chikako said again. Louder this time. Her voice cracked.

"Go to hell. I'm done with you. You're a traitor."

Miyabi didn't even turn around.

Chikako didn't say anything.

Something inside her woke up.

Her breathing increased. The inside of her body felt hot.

_'Traitor?'_ The word echoed inside her mind_. 'Who are you to call me traitor? You sold out all my deepest secrets. You treated me as your personal servant and gave me pain and humiliation.'_

She felt a raw and pure feeling grow inside of her. It grew inside her chest and started to take over her mind. More than a year's held back wrath and humiliation finally began to manifest inside her heart. Chikako's field of vision became clear and she focused on Miyabi. The rage inside of her grew. It gave her courage. It gave her strength. She stopped trembling. Her breathing became steady and relaxed.

"Miyabi, I know what you have done."

Miyabi was still oblivious. She began putting coins inside the machine.

"You told everyone my deepest secret, even though you promised you would never do that."

Miyabi suddenly stopped moving. These words had obviously had an effect on her. Slowly, she put the coins back in her purse and closed it. After that, she didn't move.

Chikako felt a slight sensation of victory, and it gave her more strength.

"I told you my most well-kept secret. The nickname I had in elementary school. I told you because I believed you would never tell anyone. I trusted you. I trusted you with my life. And this is how you reward me for that trust."

She was surprised how clear and steady her voice was.

"And that's not all." she continued. "You have shown a very rude attitude towards me ever since the beginning. You've been bossing me around and you've been making fun of me in front of others."

Her voice became more and more intense.

"Very often, you've treated me like dirt. Like I was your little servant or your pet. You always put your own feelings first, and never cared for my emotions. They were worth nothing to you. And I always supported you. I helped you with all your plans. I never once questioned your motives or methods! I was always there for you!"

Her voice was now so loud she was almost screaming.

"I ADORED you, Miyabi! You were my first true friend! I was so happy when we met the first time! I loved our friendship! And this is how you reward that love! By giving out my most sensitive secrets to the crowd?"

Her face was red. Her eyes became wet.

"How could you be so cruel! How could you do such a thing to a friend? How dare you feel hurt and betrayed after all evil things you have done to me and the other people in class! All the things you did to Tomoko and Fujiyoshi! How can you live with yourself!"

Miyabi still didn't move. Chikako took a deep breath. She started to calm down, and the red in her face faded. After taking a deep, focused breath, she launched her final attack.

"You call us traitors. Is it because we finally stopped kissing your ass? Because we finally stand on our own and don't obey your every command? 'Traitors', huh? Just look at yourself. Look how you treated me. The only one here who is a traitor is you, Miyabi. You gave away all the love and trust the class gave you. Everyone liked you. But now you've turned everybody against you. And the fault is your own. Yours, and no one else's. You're a self-centered, cold-hearted bitch. Nothing more."

There. She had finally said it. She had finally stood up to Miyabi.

Chikako felt like a stone had fallen from her heart. She finally felt a sense of freedom. She had finally let out all the hard feelings she had buried so deep within herself. In the aftermath of her outburst, all kinds of emotions raced through her heart and mind.

But her feeling of release would not last long.

When Chikako said no more, Miyabi turned around.

Chikako gasped when she saw her face. She had expected anger, sadness, regret, hate...basically any kind of emotion normal human beings express.

But Miyabi's face was expressionless. Her eyes were just like they had been in the classroom. Dead and bottomless.

"Are you done?"

Her voice was nothing like it used to be. It had turned into a low, monotone rasp.

"You know, Chikako. I predicted a lot of things from my former friends ever since my life was turned into a hell. Nothing any one of you said or did surprised me..."

Miyabi's face was still expressionless. Chikako didn't move a muscle. She stared at Miyabi.

"...but I never thought someone like you could muster up enough courage to say something like that to me."

A hint of a smile appeared on her lips.

"To think that a weak little coward like you could manage such a thing is stunning. I could never predict that."

Miyabi chuckled quietly and looked down in the ground.

"You know, you're the most pathetic person I've ever met."

Her voice was calm. She didn't look up.

"The only thing you want is to be popular. To get respect. To be admired."

Miyabi slapped her hands together. The sudden loud sound made Chikako flinch. Miyabi's voice got very raw. Her eyes were suddenly piercing Chikako's face.

"But you will never be popular, Chikako. You will never get respect. You will never be successful. And do you know why?"

She paused for a few seconds.

"Because you suck. Because you are completely worthless. Every single cell in your body is a failure."

She took a step towards Chikako. Without realizing it, Chikako took a step backwards.

"First of all, you're ugly. You're so fucking ugly. Everybody thinks so, and you know it yourself. In fact, you shouldn't even bother to use makeup and perfume in that rotten face of yours. It doesn't do any good anyway. And with those huge glasses, you're doomed to walk alone forever. No boy will ever be interested in you."

Miyabi took another step.

"Second, you're weak. I've never met someone with such a pathetic, underdog personality. You say you're mad because I treated you like a servant? You say you're mad because I told everyone your secrets? Well, it's your own fault! You accepted everything. You trusted me in everything and didn't doubt me once. I could tell people your secrets while you're standing next to me and you would be too stupid to notice! I could humiliate you any way I wanted, and the day after you would come back and wag your tail like a good dog again."

Miyabi grinned. Those pale white teeth together with those emotionless eyes made her look like a demon.

"And you know why things happened that way. You were so desperate to hang out with me and the other popular kids that you would sacrifice all your dignity. You wanted those few seconds of fame so bad. You would do anything just for a minute in the spotlight. The spotlight I and the other girls bathed in every day. But the truth is, that fame was never for you. You could never achieve that kind of fame. And everyone knew that. Everyone knew your struggle was in vain. Everyone but you."

Miyabi began walking slowly towards Chikako. Chikako pulled away.

"You even tried to sign up for that beauty contest. I mean, what were you thinking? Did you really think you would have the slightest chance? Any idiot would understand that the judges would rule you out in the beginning. But not you! Once again, you were too desperate to see things clearly. A girl who is that stupid deserves to be humiliated!"

Miyabi made a short hysterical laughter. It sounded more like a harpy's scream than a real, human laughter.

"How can someone be so retarded?" she hissed. "You honestly thought that you would somehow transform into a good-looking girl with fame and fortune just by standing next to me and the other popular girls? Hah! Instead it made you stick out like a sore thumb. It only highlighted your faulty attributes. 'The fashion queens and the four eyes', that's what people were saying! And it took you until now to realize how much shit everyone spoke about you. How everybody laughed behind your back. Gosh!"

Chikako now had her back pressed against the wall. Miyabi stood in front of her. Her face was only a few centimeters away.

"Maybe you felt some kind of personal victory with that little speech you just made. Well, guess what. If you think I am feeling any guilt, you're dead wrong."

Miyabi's voice had now gone back to a quiet rasp. Her face became emotionless again.

"Remember that time at the party when I imitated you? Remember when I insulted you after that beauty contest? Remember when I stole your love interest and kissed him right in front of you? I enjoyed it. It was fun to humiliate you. It was all a game to me and the others. To see how far we could push you down and how you would still crawl back to us and lick our feet. That's pretty much how our friendship was. You were my little servant I could play with and let you do my dirty work."

Miyabi spat on the ground.

"You probably think that you have now conquered your weaknesses and gained new strength. You probably think that after this conversation, you can start a new life and be a new person. But we both know that it isn't true, Chikako. We both know that you will still be that pathetic, weak-minded, ugly girl with the big glasses. Your life won't change a bit. You will find a new master who will dominate you, and the cycle will repeat. Over and over again."

Miyabi took a step back and crossed her arms over her chest. She looked at Chikako triumphantly. Her eyes were filled with contempt.

Chikako still had her back against the wall. She was shaking and looked dead in the face. Neither one of the girls said anything. For several seconds, the only thing that could be heard was Chikako's wheezing breaths.

Miyabi gave Chikako an evil smile.

"What's the matter, Shirai? Ain't got no juice left? Did you use up all your strength with that little speech?"

Chikako didn't say anything. She looked down in the ground.

"Aaw, look at her." Miyabi moaned theatrically. "She is scared. She tries to play tough and make bold speeches, but at the end of the day, she is still this weak little bug she has always been."

Miyabi snapped her fingers, and turned her voice into a growl.

"I'm going to show you exactly how small you are. I'll give you a proof of your inability of standing up against the ones who dominate you."

Suddenly, like the speed of light, Miyabi reached out with her right hand. She grabbed Chikako's glasses and pulled them off her head ferociously.

Chikako screamed of the shock and the slight pain she felt when Miyabi's nails scratched her.

"Uaah! M-my..my glasses! What did you do? Give them back!"

Miyabi jumped backwards a few steps. She held up Chikako's glasses in front of her and laughed.

"You want your glasses back, Shirai? Well, come and get them!"

Chikako desperately leaped after Miyabi, reaching for her glasses. Miyabi dodged her smoothly and bounced a few more steps away from her. She laughed again.

"You gotta do better than that! Come on, once again!"

"Stop it, Miyabi! Give me my glasses!"

Chikako ran after Miyabi again. She almost managed to get her hands on her glasses, but Miyabi dodged her attempt in the last second. This time Chikako lost her balance and almost fell down to the ground.

"Wow, you're clumsy, Shirai. You gotta move faster, and watch where you're running."

"Godammit, Miyabi! Stop! Stooop!"

Chikako's voice began to sound more and more painful and desperate.

Miyabi taunted Chikako by hopping around, like an athlete warming up the last minutes before a run.

"Come on, once again! You were so close! Try just a liiittle bit harder!"

Chikako ran after Miyabi again, but she jumped out of the way yet another time. This time Chikako fell over and landed on her hands and knees.

Chikako pulled herself up. Then she began crying. Tears of anger and humiliation ran down her face.

"I'm not doing anything to you, Shirai. I'm not even touching you. And still you fall all over the place. Do you see now how powerless you are?"

"Please, Miyabi...please...Give them back...my glasses...please..." Chikako begged.

"And now you're pleading again like a helpless little animal. You're begging for mercy from the one who is tormenting you. As I said, you can't stand up to people, so you surrender instead."

Miyabi laughed cruelly. She held up her other hand in front of herself.

"Hey, Chikakobuta! How many fingers do I hold up? Oh, sorry! I forgot you can't see!"

Miyabi laughed from her joke. Chikako was shaking, almost unable to stand on her legs. With her eyes full of tears it was almost impossible to see anything at all.

Eventually, Chikako couldn't handle the pressure anymore. She became desperate. She screamed and rushed towards Miyabi. She tried to reach her glasses with both her hands with all her might. However, her movements were so uncoordinated and flimsy that Miyabi had no problems dodging all of them.

Then suddenly, Miyabi stopped leaping away from Chikako.

"Enough!" she roared. Her taunting behaviour had disappeared. Now she only sounded angry.

She walked up to Chikako and stood still in front of her. She stared at her angrily.

Chikako stopped moving as well, shaking from equal amounts of surprise and fear.

"I could do anything I want with you. I could kick your fucking ass. I could toss your glasses on the ground and crush them with my foot."

She lowered her voice.

"But I won't. There is simply no fun anymore in doing things to you. Here."

She held out Chikako's glasses.

Chikako stared at the glasses intensely, then at Miyabi's face, then at the glasses again. She seemed to be unsure of whether she dared to take them or not.

"Come on, you loser! Don't you want them? I'm not gonna do anything!"

Finally, after much hesitation, Chikako reached for her glasses. She took them from Miyabi and then quickly retreated backwards, holding her glasses tightly pressed against her chest, as if she wanted to protect them with her dear life.

"The only reason you got them back is because I spared you. You would never have been able to get them back by yourself. And that's the way you will always be." Miyabi said coldly.

She flipped back her blue hair.

"You and I are through. Don't ever speak to me again. And just wait until tomorrow. An old friend will come to visit..."

She turned around and walked away, her back straight. She did not turn around once.

* * *

><p>Neither one of the girls noticed the man sitting on the roof of a low building nearby. He had blonde dyed hair and was smoking a cigarette. He watched the scene at the yard thoughtfully. Then he tossed away the cigarette butt, stood up and walked away.<p> 


	6. Chapter 6

**CHAPTER 6**

Crushed.

Completely humiliated.

Chikako sat on her bed. The lights in her room were turned off.

She had her head buried into her arms and was curled up into a ball. She was shaking. She pressed her jaws together so hard it felt her teeth could break.

Miyabi's words spun around in her mind.

BECAUSE YOU SUCK. BECAUSE YOU ARE COMPLETELY WORTHLESS.

She slowly got out of her ball pose and crawled up. With some effort, she managed to stand up.

She searched for the light switch and managed to find it eventually. She turned on the lamp. The sharp, sudden light burnt her eyes.

She walked over to the mirror. When her eyes had got used to the light, she looked into it.

She saw a girl staring back at her. The girl was extremely ugly. She had a big pair of glasses and looked like a geek. Her face was red and swollen from all the crying.

YOU ARE UGLY. EVERYBODY THINKS SO, AND YOU KNOW IT YOURSELF.

Chikako held her breath. She bit her lip until it bled.

With a scream, she ripped the mirror off the wall and threw it down on the floor. It broke.

Chikako stared at her room. She stared at all the items and things she had once been so proud of.

YOU'RE WEAK. I'VE NEVER MET SOMEONE WITH SUCH A PATHETIC, UNDERDOG PERSONALITY.

Her room looked like a copy of Miyabi's room.

The walls were full of posters of pop idols. Pop idols Miyabi and the other girls in school liked. Pop idols she had begun listening to after she had met Miyabi.

The bookshelves and desks were decorated with toys, photos and other fashion items. Toys and fashion items that Miyabi liked and had chosen for her. Photos of her, Miyabi and Saeko; standing together making poses in purikura photo boots, pop concerts, fashion shows and other places.

She ripped the posters down the walls. She tossed the toys and photos around the room.

She had reshaped her life into a bad copy of Miyabi's life. Her life was nothing but a charade. A bad character imitation performed by a worthless actor.

She dropped down on her knees. She stared at the floor.

YOUR LIFE WON'T CHANGE A BIT. YOU WILL FIND A NEW MASTER WHO WILL DOMINATE YOU, AND THE CYCLE WILL REPEAT. OVER AND OVER AGAIN.

That evening, Chikako was in a very dark place.

She had always disliked her ugliness, her lack of charisma and talent. But now, she was sinking lower than ever before. Her distaste for herself now turned into outright self-hate.

_'I hate myself. I hate my life.'_

Thoughts were racing through her mind.

_'I am nothing. I have nothing. I am ugly. I have no talents. I have no friends. I have no strength. I am not smart. I can't do anything. I am only a slave. I am only a toy.'_

She just sat there, quivering and sobbing quietly.

The last days, she had believed that she could build up a new life. She had believed that she would eventually cheer up again and gain new trust and friendship from her classmates. She had believed that she had learnt her lesson now and would never do the same mistakes again.

But Miyabi had crushed all her dreams. Miyabi had shown her her true colors.

She was as pathetic and useless as she had always been. She had been totally defeated by Miyabi, yet again. She was still that terrified, powerless, humiliated girl. And she would always be. As soon as she would meet a new person with Miyabi's personality, she would turn into that little dog again. It was her destiny.

Suddenly, a voice could be heard outside the door.

"Chikako-dear! Dinner!"

It was her mum. Chikako groaned. The last thing she wanted to do was to be forced to have a conversation with her family in this state.

"I'm fine, mum. I'll skip dinner tonight." she mumbled.

"Why, honey? Are you not feeling well? You want me to come in and check on you?"

"I'm fine, mum! Really! Just leave me alone."

"But honey..." her mum sounded worried.

_'God damn BITCH! Can't you just leave me alone?'_ Chikako thought, but she didn't say it out loud.

"Honey, I heard some noises from your room before, like glass broke. Did something happen? And why did you lock your door? Are you sure everything is alright?"

"God dammit..." Chikako whispered to herself.

She realized her mother wouldn't leave her alone. She didn't want to have dinner together with them, but if she refused, her mother would only be even more persistent. Finally, she gave in.

"Okay, I'll be there. I'm fine, really. I'll be down in a minute."

At last, her mother left her door. Chikako waited until her footsteps had died out. Then she slowly pulled herself up. She wiped her eyes and face with a tissue, hoping that she wouldn't look too red and swollen.

She slowly walked down the stairs.

* * *

><p>Her family had already begun eating when she came down to the kitchen. Her mother, her father and her younger brother Shigeru were sitting by the table.<p>

"Ah! There's my dear little Chikako!" her father said with a smile. "We missed you, sweetie."

Chikako didn't answer. She sat down and picked up her chopsticks. She looked at the food. Rice and yakiniku. She wasn't hungry at all.

"Dear, what has happened to you? Your eyes look red, like you've been crying. And you seem to be exhausted." her mum said.

"It's nothing. I told you I'm fine."

Her mother looked at her with worried eyes, but eventually gave up and went back to eating her food.

Chikako looked at her parents.

They looked just like her. Or rather, she looked just like them.

They were both ugly. Both of them had huge glasses, big and round like her own. Neither of them cared much about their clothes or their hair. They looked ugly, nerdy and unkempt.

Suddenly, her brother spoke:

"Mum! Dad! Today I got my math test back. I got a B plus!"

Shigeru smiled proudly. Chikako stared at him. He wore glasses of the same kind as everyone else. Her whole family was a group of four eyes.

"Well isn't that great, son!" the father said proudly.

"You're so good, Shigeru!" his mother cheered.

Shigeru was short and chubby. He was a few years younger than Chikako and had a lot of freckles and a few small moles in his face.

"Last time I got a B minus, so I am getting better!" he boasted. "Maybe I can get an A at the end of the semester."

He continued smiling while putting large chunks of food in his mouth. He chewed loudly.

"Excellent!" his father said. "Maybe you can be good enough to work in my business when you grow older. You could become a statistician, just like me! Making calculations is an important and honourable work."

Chikako stared at all three of them. Her face lost more and more of its color.

EVERY SINGLE CELL IN YOUR BODY IS A FAILURE.

_'God...they're so ugly. They're totally miserable. They have nothing. They're ugly, worthless and pathetic.'_

The inside of Chikako's mind was burning.

_'I am just like them. Me and my brother are like clones of them. I was born by these two worthless creatures. I am the breed of two miserable life forms without a life or a future.'_

Her hate grew bigger and bigger.

_'I am composed by their genetic material. Their dirty, polluted DNA. It's their fault I got my poor eyesight. It's their fault I have the ugliest face in the world. It's their fault I have no talents. I am a cocktail of the worst genes mankind ever put together.'_

She tied her fists until her nails pierced her palms. Her hateful thoughts became more and more morbid and nihilistic.

_'Why isn't there any birth control in this country? Why don't we practice race biology? We should sterilize all the foul, disgusting human beings unworthy of reproducing! Me and my family should not be allowed to exist!'_

She stared at her brother again. He was chewing his food without closing his mouth.

In that split second, she wanted to strangle him. She felt an immense hate towards her own brother. She just wanted to erase him from this world.

"Stop eating with your mouth open! I'm getting sick!" she shouted.

Shigeru flinched and stared at her with his small eyes. He swallowed down the food he had in his mouth. He looked deeply hurt.

"Now what was that, Chikako?" her mother said and frowned.

Their father tried to settle the fight between his children.

"Well now, Chikako has a point. It's not nice to eat with your mouth open, and you know that, Shigeru. But it's also not very nice of you to talk like that to your brother, Chikako. You can tell him in a nice way, you know."

Chikako didn't answer. She kept staring at her younger brother intensely.

For a few moments, Shigeru had his mouth closed, but once his parents put their attention away from him, he forgot about himself and began chewing loudly once again.

Chikako kicked his leg under the table as hard as she could. Shigeru yelled.

"I told you to quit eating with your mouth open, you fat little blob!" she screamed.

Shigeru stared at her with tearful, terrified eyes.

"Chikako!" her father said angrily.

"What's the matter with you today?" her mother said, equally as angry as her father.

"How can you hurt your own brother like that? That's a behaviour we don't accept, young lady!" her father said in a loud voice.

Chikako finally snapped. She stood up and slammed her hands down in the table.

"Shut up! You don't know anything! Do you think I care about his feelings! Do you think I care about you!" she screamed.

"Chikako...what.." her mother said, shocked.

Chikako picked up her plate and tossed into it wall. It smashed to bits. The food on it spilled all over the floor.

"I HATE YOU! You ugly, worthless animals! I HATE this family! I hate being born by you two, AND I HATE MY LIFE!"

She ran out of the room. She ran to the hallway, grabbed her shoes and ran out of the house, not bothering to put them on.

Her family sat in the kitchen, completely shocked. Shigeru was crying quietly. His mother took him in her arms and tried to comfort him.

"What on earth happened to her...?" the father whispered.

"She has never been like this before..." his wife whimpered.

"She is in a sensitive age, I know...but..."

"I have never seen her so angry and sad. Something must have happened. Something very serious."

They stared at the floor, where broken shards of porcelain mixed with the food in a small puddle.

* * *

><p>Chikako was alone in a small playground. She sat on a small bench in front of a sand box.<p>

At that point, she didn't care anymore if she would live or die. All light in her life was gone. She just wanted to disappear. To vanish from the world.

She stared at the sand box in front of her. After a while, she picked up a small piece of wood from the ground. Slowly, without energy, she began drawing in the sand.

She drew a face. She gave it a huge nose with huge nostrils. She drew a pair of gigantic glasses on the face. She made small spots all over the cheeks and forehead. She made the face look as ugly as she could.

When she was done with the face, she wrote 'CHIKAKO' next to it in the sand.

"Oink, oink..." she said to the picture. Her voice was full of bitterness.

"Hi, I am Chikako. This is how ugly I am. I am a girl with no life or future. Nice to meet you." she continued.

She gave away a quiet, bitter chuckle and tossed the piece of wood on the ground. The situation was so ironic. The only thing she had ever liked with herself was her skill in drawing, and right now it was that skill she used to portray her own worthlessness. It was probably fate. She had probably been born with the talent of drawing for this specific moment. The gods had probably given her that talent so she could draw all the details in her own ugly face.

"That's a nice drawing. I like it."

Chikako jumped up in shock when she heard the voice behind her. She quickly turned around. What she saw almost made her jump out of her shoes.

It was Onizuka! He stood there with a cigarette in his mouth. He had his usual, stupid stare and was dressed in ill-fitting jeans and t-shirt. Chikako stared at him in shock.

"Why don't we finish the drawing? Mind if I join in?" he said.

He walked over to the sand box and picked up the wooden stick. He began drawing in the sand where Chikako had drawn her face.

"Let's draw a body to Chikako's face. Let's see...let's make it a really fat body."

He began drawing a torso and two arms below the face. He made the belly really fat and the arms extremely long, completely out of proportion.

"And let's make it bow-legged!"

He drew two long legs and made the lower legs point inwards toward eachother.

His drawing technique was awful, and the huge contrast it had against Chikako's drawing made it look even more awful.

"And what about some body hair, eh? Let's make it really hairy!" he said and smiled.

He began drawing long strands of hair all over the body.

Chikako's face turned whiter and whiter. How dared he make fun of her? Didn't he see how miserable she felt?

"Stop that!" she screamed. "That's humiliating!"

She stomped and rubbed the sand with her foot until the drawing was erased completely. Then she took the wooden stick from Onizuka and broke it and tossed it far away.

She stared at him with wild anger. Onizuka just took a puff of his cigarette and gave her a smile.

"What's the problem? I thought you'd like it." he said.

"I hate drawings of myself! And I hate when someone does them!"

"Then why did you draw one yourself?"

He pointed his finger at her and made one of his trademark dumb faces.

Chikako was furious. She wanted to be alone with her sadness. She hated Onizuka. Talking to him was the last thing she wanted.

"If you're gonna make fun of me I'll leave!" she said angrily. "Goodbye!"

She began striding away with long, determined steps. But Onizuka quickly leaped up and walked up to her. He grabbed her arm.

"Let go of me, you jerk! Let me go or I'll scream!" she said.

She tried to pull away from his grip, but to no avail. He was way too strong.

"Don't you think it's sad?" he said to her.

"What!"

"To see a fourteen year old girl, with the whole life in front of her, being so sad and angry? To see her hate herself so much?"

"That's none of your business! Let me go and stop caring about me!"

He let go of her arm and put his arm around her shoulders.

"Chikako Shirai, I'm afraid I can't leave you alone tonight."

He took a last puff of his cigarette and tossed it away.

"You see, tonight is your night. I have a special plan for you."

"I'm not interested in any plan! Leave me alone!"

"Trust me. You're gonna love this one."

He began leading her away. Chikako struggled against his grip and tried to escape, but he held her tightly.

"If you don't stop resisting I'm afraid I have to toss you over my shoulder and carry you the whole way. And that would be quite embarrassing, wouldn't it? One way or the other, you're coming with me." he said to her.

Chikako realized there was no way she could escape. She finally stopped tugging and began walking along with him.

"There's a good girl." Onizuka said.

Chikako hissed at him.

"I know what you are going to do. You're gonna do something mean and humiliating, right? You're gonna punish me for the things I did to you and the class together with Miyabi."

"Who said anything about a punishment?"

"Punishment, special teaching program, whatever. Are you gonna pull down my pants and write things on my butt, like you did with Uehara and her friends? Or make me bungee jump like Murai? Hell, you will probably put me on your motorcycle and drive off an open bridge as you did with Kanzaki."

"Those things I only do with the real wolves of the pack. You, Shirai, are just a little puppy dog. And on little puppy dogs, I go nice and easy. Dealing with you is nothing compared to all the energy and time I needed for Uehara, Murai and all those guys. Trust me, you're gonna love this."

Normally, Chikako would have felt uneasy. But now she felt so empty inside that she really did not care what would happen to her. No matter what Onizuka would do, she would be oblivious. She only deserved it, as ugly and worthless as she was.

"Where are we going anyway?" she asked after a while.

"We're going to the big exhibition center in the middle of town."

Chikako looked at him in shock. Then she realized what she was doing and looked away.

"Why? What is there?" she muttered, trying to keep her voice neutral.

"You know what is there, Chikako."

Chikako didn't say anything for a while. She looked down in the ground.

"The local manga and anime festival. It starts today..." she said quietly.

"I told you you'd love it."

"I don't go to such places."

"You don't, but you always wanted to. It is a secret dream of yours."

"How did you know I was into such things?"

"I took a look at all the drawings, sketches and notebooks you have hidden in your room. You almost have a full art gallery. They're really good, I must say."

Chikako stopped in her tracks and stared at him. Her pale face turned red. She began pounding him in his chest and stomach as hard she could. It had absolutely no effect upon him. She could have pounded on a concrete wall.

"You were in my room? You fucking pervert! How did you get in!"

"There is a big tree and a fence outside your house right next to where your room is, and you always leave the window open. Not very difficult to get in. You should be more careful."

"You bastard! You...you thief! How can you just go inside one of your students' room like that?"

"I'm prepared to do anything for my students' well-being. Come on now, let's keep going."

She followed him with uneasy steps. She was not sure what to think. It was true she had always wanted to go there, but in this condition she had no real motivation, and she absolutely didn't want to go there with Onizuka.

"Why are we going there anyway? What are we going to do?"

"That's a secret. You'll see."

Chikako suddenly came to think of something. She looked around nervously, then looked at Onizuka.

"P-promise me you won't tell anyone in our class about this, okay? I don't want them to find out..."

"I promise I won't say a word to them."

* * *

><p>The exhibition area was crowded and lively. They had just opened, and people were going inside. Everyone was excited and the air was full of laughter, screams and chatter. Children ran around the area, with their stressed parents trying to keep track of them. Nerds of all kinds were all around. Many of them were dressed up as their favorite characters, or wore t-shirts or caps with logos from their favorite show or cartoon. Exhibition personnel and agents from publishing companies roamed around and tried to get a hold of all the mess that was going on.<p>

Chikako felt confused and dizzy from all the colors and noise. She had not been to a place like this for ages. Without noticing it, she pulled herself closer to Onizuka.

"Aaah, isn't this life, Chikako? You got all your favorite stuff, great shops, and most important of all..."

He smacked with his tongue.

"...hot teenage girls that dress up as sexy anime characters."

Chikako moaned.

"Yeah, whatever, you jerk! I don't care!"

"Come on, why the angry face? Please relax."

Chikako did her best to remain in angry mode. She was not going to give in to his little plan. She was not going to let him feel victorious.

Then a sudden fear struck her. _'What if someone from school decided to come here? What if they see me? What will I do then?'_

She looked around nervously. If she would be caught going to a manga expo by someone who was part of the cool and important people in school, she would lose everything. Fortunately, it was very unlikely that any one of those people would come here. No one of them liked manga and anime, and many of them thought about it as 'nerdy' and 'uncool'. The manga & anime club of her school would most likely be here, and so would the Gundam boys, but they had no real influence over anyone. They were not friends with the important people in her class, and most didn't care about them or what they had to say. She would probably be able to deny everything if they would start telling people. But if the important people saw her being here, everything would be lost. Word would spread all around school, and everyone would laugh at her and never speak to her again. No one wanted to talk to a nerd. She would end up like Yoshikawa, who only spent times with his video games and got picked on by everyone.

But soon enough, her hidden feelings of excitement took the upper hand over her worries and her anger. Chikako felt she was slowly beginning to lighten up. Her anger gradually disappeared and she began to look around at the festival area. There were so many things to see. There were an endless collection of stands and shops with manga volumes and anime videos, both rare and vintage goods and the latest trendy material. Cosplayers walked around, proudly showing their own created costumes. They happily made fancy poses anytime someone took out a camera and wanted to take a picture of them.

Chikako's heart began beating faster. She felt something inside her wake up. Something that had been buried deep within her heart. Even deeper than the rage and sadness she had accumulated after the times with Miyabi. She began feeling lust. True, creative, heartful lust. The kind of lust only someone with a huge interest can feel. The kind of lust that makes people want to dig into something and never come out of.

Suddenly, Chikako felt like a little girl again. She got an urge to just leave Onizuka and run around at the festival area. Her legs were sparkling with energy. Her eyes bounced around the whole place. She wanted to see everything. To do everything. Everything at once.

"Onizuka, m-may I...walk around a bit on my own? I want to check out some things..." she asked him shyly.

"So you were excited after all. I thought so." he said and smiled at her.

Chikako felt embarrassed from having her true feelings exposed yet again.

"You can go around on your own...however, first of all, there is something we must do."

He put his arm around her shoulder and lead her away from the main hall of the area.

"What? What are we going to do?"

"I told you it was a secret. You'll know soon."

Chikako felt confused and insecure. She followed him away.

* * *

><p>They entered a small room. It looked something like a storage room. There were chairs and boxes put here and there. The boxes were full of clothes and clothing accessories. On the wall, there was a big mirror, and a bit further in the room, there was a big curtain hanging from the ceiling down to the floor. This was probably some kind of a dressing room, but it didn't look like it was actively used.<p>

In the middle of the room, looking over the contents of one of the boxes, two men were standing. They looked very rough and filthy. One of the guys was unshaved and had greasy, shoulder length hair. He was wearing a worn out, unbuttoned shirt with his bare chest visible underneath. The other guy had glasses, wore a Hawaii shirt and had a spiky haircut that looked a bit like Kusano's. Chikako began feeling nervous. What kind of people were they? What did they want with her?

"Ah! Michiaki! Yoshihara! Long time no see! How are you guys?" Onizuka said cheerfully.

He made a high five with the two boys.

"Nice to see you again, Eikichi-chan!" the guy named Michiaki said. "Things are going great! We just got all the stuff you told us to bring."

"Good work, guys!" Onizuka said. "Let me introduce the star for tonight: miss Chikako Shirai!"

He took her hand and led her towards the two men.

She shook hands with them, not sure of what to think. She felt very nervous.

"Heh heh!" Michiaki laughed. "Eikichi, you bastard, you're really into younger girls, I see. Last one you brought to us was also a junior high student."

"Knock it off, Michiaki. I'm a teacher nowadays, remember? She is my student, just like the other one. Nothing else."

"Th-these are your friends?" she asked Onizuka.

"Yep! Good old buddies. Known them for years. They're producers and talent scouts. They're always interested in cute young girls. They can make anyone become a star, you know."

Chikako looked at them again. They looked more like criminals than producers. She really wondered exactly in what way they were 'interested' in young girls, and in what exact business they could 'make anyone become a star', but she didn't say anything.

"Okay guys!" Onizuka said. "Let's make this quick! Give Shirai a good makeover, and do a really good job, okay! Otherwise I'm afraid I'll have to give you two a makeover, if you get my point."

"No problem, man!" the guy named Yoshihara said. "You can trust us. We'll dress her up just right."

Michiaki stroke his beard.

"I have to say though that if you are looking for a model contract for this one, you're probably trying in vain. I don't think the fashion companies will think she looks good enough, even if we style her at our best."

"That's not the point, guys." Onizuka said. "She is not here to get a model contract. She is here to become a star just for tonight."

"Aw, it's a shame, though." Yoshihara said. "I really have a thing for shy girls with big glasses. They have this aura of innocence over them..."

He licked his lips and smiled at her.

Chikako's squealed of fear. She grabbed on to Onizuka's arm.

"Onizuka...W-who are these guys?" she whispered to her teacher.

"You've met them once, actually."

"What? Where?"

"Outside that fashion show where Tomoko got her big break. They were the two guys who styled her and gave her her set of clothes."

"What!" she said.

Now she remembered. Those two slobs had come to the fashion show with Tomoko. The fashion show where Miyabi had participated but hadn't won. They had dressed Tomoko up like a slutty gym girl, and then in an even sluttier swimsuit for the main competition.

"Wa-wait a second!" she yelled. "Don't you dare leaving me alone with these guys!"

"Why not? Don't worry, they know their stuff. They are really good at it."

"That's exactly what I'm afraid of! What exactly are you planning here? To have me dressed up as some anime character?"

"Bingo." Onizuka smiled at her.

"You're crazy! I'm gonna get dressed up by these guys! They're probably perverts and pedophiles! I know how they will dress me up! I mean, just look at what they did with Toroko! They're gonna make me into some character from a hentai anime, right? They're gonna give me some minimal school girl uniform or something that exposes my breasts and pants or something! They..."

"Oh Shirai, just shut up, okay?" Onizuka said and stroke her hair. "Don't worry. It's gonna be great. They wouldn't dare touching you. You're gonna love this. I promise you."

"Time to get going." Michiaki said.

* * *

><p>Onizuka had left the room. The two guys began taking up clothes from the boxes. They held up various clothes, looked at them thoroughly while discussing.<p>

Chikako was terrified. She was ready to get raped any second. If any one of those slobs would lay as much as a finger on her, she would kick them in the balls and run away as fast as she could.

"Okay, I think we got a good set of clothes and accessories now." Michiaki said. "Miss Shirai, take these. You can change behind the curtains over there while we prepare the other stuff."

He and his friend handed her some clothes. Chikako could not connect the clothes to any character she knew of.

She nervously went in behind the curtains. She slowly began removing her clothes. _'I can't believe I'm doing this. I must be a complete idiot'_ she thought to herself.

She looked around to see if there was any camera or something filming her, but she didn't see anything. She peeked out behind the curtains. She expected to see the two men stare back at her like two drooling perverts, but they were busy discussing about some wigs. They were completely focused on their conversation and did not even look at her once.

She began to feel a bit more relaxed. They did actually seem really serious. She quickly changed into the clothes they had given her. When she was done, she folded her normal clothes neatly and went out from behind the curtains.

"Brilliant!" the two thugs smiled. "They fit you perfectly!"

Chikako tried to look in the mirror to see how she looked, but the guys had covered it with a big blanket.

"I want to see how I look like. Could you please remove the blanket from the mirror?" she asked them.

"No can do." Yoshihara said. "We have specific orders from Onizuka not to show you anything until the whole makeover is completed."

Chikako felt irritated. What was this nonsense? She tried to look down at the clothes on her own body, but she could not figure out anything.

"Okay, let's apply the rest of the stuff. Wigs, makeup and other accessories." Michiaki said. "Miss Shirai, over here please. And you need to take off your glasses so that we can work on you."

Her glasses went off and her field of vision turned into a blur once again. They took her by her hand and made her stand in the middle of the room while they put on her a wig and applied makeup to her face. She felt nervous again. She was just waiting for the guys to pinch her bottom or touch her breasts.

But nothing happened. The two guys were completely into their work. Not once did they look at her in that perverted kind of way. They were surprisingly gentle with their hands, and despite working with her eyes and her hair, they did not hurt her once.

"There! Amazing!" Michiaki said when they were done.

"Now for the last part" Yoshihara said. "Here, let's put this on."

He put something that looked like a red baseball cap on her head. Chikako could not really see how it looked like since she was not wearing her glasses. It had some kind of white, puffy things on the side.

"And then the most important thing. Here."

Michiaki held out his hand to her. In his hand were her glasses.

"Put these on."

Chikako took her glasses and stared at them. Then she stared at the men.

"Really? But why? Won't these big, ugly glasses ruin the whole costume?"

"No. In fact, the glasses are actually the finishing touch to your costume. It wouldn't be right if you wouldn't have them on. You'll understand soon. Put them on now."

Michiaki winked his eye and smiled.

Confused, Chikako put on her glasses. Her vision returned to normal again.

"Eikichi-chan! She's done now! You can come in!" he yelled.

Onizuka came inside the room. When he saw her, he laughed loudly and clapped his hands.

"Great! Amazing! I knew I could trust you guys! Shirai, you look great!"

Michiaki and Yoshihara smiled and did a high five with Onizuka once again.

Chikako started to get mad. What the hell had they done to her?

"Enough! What have you done to me? I want to see! Remove the blanket on the mirror now!" she shouted.

Onizuka walked up to the mirror and grabbed the blanket with his hands.

"Right, right." he said. "If you say so. Ready?"

He pulled away the blanket with a fierce swipe.

"Let me present: Chikako Shirai starring as the heroine from the manga Dr Slump!"

Chikako stared at herself in the mirror.

Her mouth was like a big hole. She didn't say a word.

She was dressed up as Arale from Dr Slump.

She was dressed up as ARALE! From DR SLUMP!

The very first seconds, she did not know what to think. There were too many feelings, too many impressions rushing around inside of her. She had never done cosplaying before, and seeing herself dressed up as an anime character was a new experience. She was no big fan of Dr Slump. If she would have dressed up as an anime character based on her own preferences and tastes, she would never have picked someone as goofy and crazy as Arale.

But after a few moments, she got over the initial shock of surprise and uneasiness and started to look at herself for real.

That was when she realized: her costume was perfect. All details were there. She was the split image of Arale.

The thugs had put on her a wig with long, violet colored hair. Her trousers were blue and ended around her knees. They had suspenders holding them up, making them look somewhat like those overalls construction workers used. On her upper body was a red shirt. The baseball cap she had on top was red as well and had two white, puffy wings on the side. On the front it was written "ARALE" in yellow, capital letters on a black background.

Not only was the clothing chosen perfectly. The quality of it was excellent.

All parts of her costume were made from high quality materials. The hair looked extremely realistic, as if she had let her own natural hair grow out and had dyed it purple. The cloth and textile of her clothes were stunningly smooth and comfortable.

But there was one thing with the costume that stood out more than anything else.

This thing was her glasses.

They fit.

They looked great.

Chikako felt blood rushing to her face and felt her heart beating faster and faster. A warm feeling spread inside of her.

They fit!

They fit her appearance perfectly!

For the first time in her life, she could look at herself in a mirror without feeling ashamed.

For the first time in her life, she could feel great wearing glasses.

The thugs had been right. Her glasses were the finishing touch to her whole appearance. Not having them on would make her look bad. Her own glasses looked exactly like the ones Arale wore: big, round and goofy. And it fit the costume perfectly.

Chikako let out a little giggle. She put her hands in front of her mouth. Her face became red and she could not stop smiling. She did not take her eyes away from the mirror.

"So, do you like it?" Onizuka said and smiled.

"It...it is...wow, I..." Chikako mumbled, still smiling.

"I think she likes it." Michiaki said with a proud smile.

"It is...oh, it is...It IS Arale!" Chikako said, her voice cracking a bit.

"Told you you were gonna love it!" Onizuka said and winked his eye.

Chikako felt a childlike happiness. She was beginning to feel comfortable in her new outfit. She felt very dumb, but in a fun and relaxed way. All her shyness and shame, that she usually felt, was beginning to fade away.

Chikako realized that this was something she had always wanted to try. Deep inside, she had always wanted to cosplay as an anime character. However, because she had always thought of herself as talentless, and because Miyabi had opposed it, she had never dared to go through with it. Her class had sometimes had costume parties together. She had always felt disappointed with the costumes she had worn. The very first time, she had had so many plans. She had wanted to dress up as an anime character. But ever since Miyabi had declared how much she hated manga and anime, she had dropped the idea. Instead of choosing her own outfit, it had been Miyabi who had chosen it. She had always come to the parties dressed up as something cliché, in an outfit that matched with Miyabi's and Saeko's. And she had always been bored. Now, for the first time in her life, she was dressed up in a way she really enjoyed.

"Alright!" Onizuka said. "Enough of this! Michiaki, Yoshihara, thank you very much for your job! I'll buy you a beer sometime, okay?"

He put his arm around Chikako and led her towards the exit.

"Let's go, Shirai! Are you prepared to meet the world as the almighty Arale?"

Chikako almost fell backwards. She stared at Onizuka in terror. She had completely forgotten at what kind of place she was.

"Wh-what? You want me to go outside? Out THERE! No way! People will see me!"

Onizuka gave her one of his goofy looks.

"Well, isn't that sorta the point with cosplaying? To show yourself to other people?"

"Uh, yeah, but...what if they'll laugh? What if they will make fun of me?"

Onizuka took her hand.

"Don't you get tired of feeling ashamed, Shirai? You know, you should for once stop caring about what other people think of you. Why not enjoy yourself for once? You know that you look great in this costume. You saw it yourself, so what is there to be afraid of? Come on now. Let's go."

* * *

><p>She followed Onizuka out to the main hall of the festival area. Her teacher was walking with long and proud steps. Her own legs were shaking, and she stumbled around while trying to keep up with him. She nervously looked around the place.<p>

It didn't take long until people took notice of her. Her costume was so well-made and her appearance was so alike Arale's that people could not fail to notice her. The adults looked at her and smiled. Groups of teenagers laughed and pointed at her. Chikako felt uneasy with it. But the worst thing was the little children. They were ecstatic about seeing a real life Arale in front of them, and they pointed and screamed.

"Mamaaa!" a little girl yelled. "It's Arale-chan! Look! It's Arale-chan!"

The girl pointed at Chikako, giggled and hopped up and down. She looked to be around seven or eight years old.

"Yes, honey, she's very cute, isn't she?" the mother said and smiled.

The little girl's yelling made more and more people notice Chikako. Chikako closed her eyes and cursed the day Onizuka came into her life.

Onizuka smiled and walked up to the mother and her girl.

"Hi there, beautiful ones!" he said to them. "Allow me to introduce myself. I am Eikichi Onizuka. I see you have noticed my Arale-chan here. Hey, Arale! Come over here and talk to these lovely people!"

He grabbed Chikako by the hand and led her over to the mother and her daughter. Chikako got shocked.

"Bu-bu-but..." she stuttered.

"This is miss Chikako Shirai" Onizuka said in a boasting voice. "She is the latest cosplay talent I added to my company. I am a talent scout for a cosplay fashion magazine, you see. Miss Shirai makes all her costumes herself. She works very hard day and night to make them as good as possible. Pretty neat, don't you think?"

Chikako just stared at Onizuka. What the hell was he saying?

"Oh my!" the mother said, deeply impressed. "You know, my little daughter Mi-chan here really loves cosplaying. But she is too shy to try it herself. She is afraid that people will laugh at her."

The little girl in front of Chikako looked down, embarrassed. She rubbed her right foot on the floor.

"I am so happy she could meet someone older to talk to. Someone who is very good at it and is not ashamed of doing it. You look so lovely in that costume, miss Shirai. I am extremely impressed."

The mother looked at Chikako with proud, admiring eyes.

Chikako was stunned. She could not recall the last time someone had looked at her like that.

A small, warm feeling spread inside her chest.

"Mama..." Mi-chan said quietly.

"Yes, honey?"

"I wanna...I wanna take a picture with Arale-chan..."

Mi-chan's face was red and she stood close to her mother, not looking up.

"Well honey, why don't you ask her?"

Mi-chan looked very embarrassed, but eventually took a deep breath and slowly walked up to Chikako.

"Mi-miss Shirai...may I take a picture with you...you look so beautiful, so I wanna..."

Chikako looked at the girl. She was so cute and polite. Chikako's heart began pounding harder. She felt warm inside her body. She had forgotten that she did not want to be photographed at the anime expo, let alone being photographed dressed up as an anime character.

"Of course you can, Mi-chan."

"Okay! Gather up in front of the camera!" the mother said and took up a camera out of her bag.

Chikako and Mi-chan stood in front of the camera together. The mother took a picture of them.

"Brilliant!" she said and smiled. "Thank you very much, miss Shirai!"

She bowed to Chikako, then looked her into the eyes and smiled.

"I am so happy we met you, miss Shirai. You're such a kind-hearted and talented person. I think my little Mi-chan will finally dare to do cosplaying herself soon. And it's all thanks to you!"

She put down her camera and patted Mi-chan on the head.

"Okay, honey, why don't we get going? It's getting late, and you need to be in bed soon!"

"But I wanna stay with Arale-chan!" Mi-chan complained.

"Sorry, honey. But we need to go home now. And Arale-chan will be here on future anime events, you know. You will, right, miss Shirai?"

"Of course she will!" Onizuka shot in. "Miss Shirai never misses an anime event! She has been a fan of manga and anime all her life."

"I am happy to hear that!" the mother said and clapped her hands. "There is nothing sweeter than a person who follows their heart and do what they really want to do."

She took her daughter's hand.

"Okay, we must go now, but thanks again, miss Shirai and mr Onizuka! Hope to see you in the future!"

Then the mother and her daughter left.

* * *

><p>"Now that wasn't so bad, was it?" Onizuka said and smiled.<p>

"Why the hell did you say that I made the clothes myself? I know nothing about that stuff!" Chikako said.

"Yep, but they don't know that. Now you got some free time in the spotlight. Great, huh? Besides, now you've got a good reason to come back here. You gotta keep your promise to the little girl, right?"

Chikako felt so confused. She just stood still without saying a word.

"Okay, Shirai. Now it's free time for you for a while. Do whatever you want to do. Rumble around, visit the shops, talk to people. Anything. But I want you to be here at this spot in about 40 minutes, okay? That's an order."

Chikako broke out of her trance.

"Wha...why? Why should I do that?"

"You'll see. As I said, that's an order. DON'T forget about it."

"Alright alright!" she said, slightly annoyed. "But what will you do? Will you leave?"

"I have to make a few calls, so I'll leave you alone for a while. But we'll meet up in 40 minutes."

She looked around the exhibition area again. She didn't feel nervous anymore. Once again, that childlike joy came back. She felt really excited again!

"You get going now" Onizuka said and winked at her. "40 minutes, remember!"

"Yeah yeah..." Chikako said quietly. Her attention was already on the manga shops.

* * *

><p>The next 40 minutes, Chikako ran around the anime exhibition. She had finally let go of her tensed mood. Only happiness and excitement filled her now. She visited the manga book shops. She watched all the other cosplayers and looked at all the gifts and presents in the gift shops.<p>

Anywhere she went, people noticed her in her outfit. Many of them laughed and pointed at her, but Chikako did not take offense anymore. In fact, she had begun feeling comfortable with the attention. As Onizuka had said, she was aware that her costume was great, and that she looked very good in it.

She had not felt this relaxed and comfortable in years. She felt like finally was in her home territory. A place she was familiar with. A place where she could feel free.

* * *

><p>She had so much fun that she almost forgot the time. She rushed back to the main hall. She wondered why Onizuka wanted to meet her there, but she realized there was no point in trying to figure it out. Onizuka was so strange and unpredictable that you never knew his real intentions. Either way, she was not afraid of his tricks anymore. She felt happy and confident.<p>

She came back to the meeting point. She saw Onizuka standing there. He smiled when he saw her.

"Ah there you are! Glad you came. If you would have shown up any later you would have got detention for a month!"

"Bah!" Chikako said with a smile. Even if she didn't like Onizuka, her mood was so good that any dumb joke could amuse her.

"Why do you want to meet me here anyway?" she asked him.

"Oh, nothing special. It's just part two of the great plan."

"Part two? Aren't you done with me already?"

"Oh no, there's more. Now that you are warmed up, I think it's time for the real deal."

"Huh?"

"Come on, this way."

He took her hand and lead her away from the main hall into a side hallway. It seemed it was not part of the main area of the exhibition, as no people were there. They approached a door. Onizuka opened the door and led her inside.

The room was quite small and the floor was wooden. In front of her, there was a big, red curtain of sorts. Chikako did not understand what kind of place this was. Was she standing on a stage, maybe? She could hear many voices from behind the curtain, but the sound was very muffled. She felt like she recognized some of them, but she was not sure.

Onizuka placed her in the middle of the room, right in front of the curtain. Then he walked to one of the walls.

"Okay, here we go! And a one, and a two..."

He pulled a lever on the wall.

The curtain rose up to the roof, revealing what was behind.

Chikako froze.

Her heart stopped.

Standing in front of her was her class from school.

All of them.

Every single one of them, except for Miyabi, stood in front of her. Kikuchi was there, Kanzaki was there, Murai and his boys, Yoshikawa, Anko and her girls...

It was really them. It was not a dream. They were really there. They stood in front of her, and they were watching her. They were watching her here at the anime exhibition. They were watching her dressed up as Arale.

_"No..."_ she thought. _"No...no...no no no no no no no no NOOOOOOO!"_

Chikako died.

Her worst nightmare had come true. The thing she feared the most had just happened.

Her nerdiness had been shown to her classmates.

It was over. She was dead. There was no more hope for her.

She would be abandoned. Frozen out. Ridiculed.

No one liked a nerd.

She stared at her classmates, with a face twisted of fear. Her classmates stared back at her. They seemed to be equally as surprised as her.

Murai was the first one to speak.

"Wow...is that Chikako?"

"It really is!" Fujiyoshi said.

A small chatter spread among the classmates. They began talking about Chikako and her costume. They all reacted in various ways. Anko and her girls tried to hide their giggles. Kikuchi looked shocked, which was something you rarely saw. The Gundam Trio boys looked deeply impressed and were smiling happily about the possibility of recruiting a female member to their nerd group. Saeko had her eyes wide open, and her mouth looked like it tried to say words, like she didn't know if she was supposed to support or distance herself from her friend's newly revealed hobby.

"I had no idea miss Shirai was into cosplaying!" Yoshikawa said with big surprise.

"Chikako! You never told me!" Saeko said.

"Sure it is our dear Chikako standing right here, all dressed up!" Onizuka cheered. "I took you all here to see the true nature of miss Chikako Shirai!"

Chikako slowly turned her head and faced Onizuka. She looked dead in the face.

"You bastard...how could you? You broke your promise...you promised you wouldn't tell the others..."

"I didn't break any promise, did I?" Onizuka said with a face full of faked innocence. "I only promised I wouldn't say a word to them. And I didn't. I didn't SAY anything to them. I just brought them here. I never promised I wouldn't let them SEE you."

"You...you asshole." Chikako hissed. "You cheater...I trusted you..."

She whimpered and began quivering.

"Are you happy now? Are you aware of what you have just done? You have ruined my life. Everyone will laugh at me now..."

She began sobbing.

"You have exposed my secret hobby. Now everyone knows I am nerdy, and they will all reject me. They will tell people, and no one will ever want to be with me again. I am doomed. No one likes an ugly, talentless nerd. I will never be accepted by anyone. I can never be popular...I...uh...uhuuu..uck..."

Silence and confusion spread over the group as Chikako was crying heavily.

Onizuka stood still and watched her.

Then he got angry. Very angry. He grabbed her by the shoulders and shook her. Chikako stared at him with tearful, confused eyes.

"Enough now, Chikako!" Onizuka shouted. "I do all this shit for you, and still you do nothing but whining! For how long are you gonna hide away?"

"Wha...?" Chikako almost choked on her own words.

"Show people the truth, for once!"

"The truth...?"

"Yes, the truth! The true Chikako Shirai. The true Chikako Shirai that has always been in there. THERE!"

He pointed at her heart.

"It's time to show your friends who you really are. It's time to stop hiding away."

On the wall, some posters of fashion models were hanging. They all looked like those styled, cute girls that were seen on the cover of all stereotypical fashion magazines. Onizuka pointed at them.

"Look at this! This is what you desired, isn't it? You always wanted to be respected and popular among your peers. Nothing wrong with that. We all want to be someone. To stand in the spotlight and be admired..."

He grabbed one of the posters from the wall and ripped it down.

"...but you were so desperate that you became blind. You forgot your true dreams."

He held up the poster in front of Chikako.

"Look at all these girls, Chikako. Look at them. Yes, they look very beautiful. Their faces are a lot prettier than yours. That's a fact, and you know that."

He winked his right eye.

"...but what happens if we scratch away that beautiful face? What are we left with?"

Suddenly, Onizuka violently crumbled the poster between his two hands. When the poster was thoroughly compressed into a tiny ball, he unfolded it and held it up in front of Chikako once again. The poster was still in one piece, but was now full of wrinkles. The faces of the fashion girls were completely distorted.

"Look what's left. This is how all those popular girls in school look once you take away their pretty faces. They will grow old one day, and eventually, their beautiful faces will look like this, regardless of how many beauty products they use right now. Their eyes will grow weak, and they will be forced to wear glasses too. It's just a matter of time, really. These girls are the ones you have followed all your life, the ones you have always tried to be like."

With brute force, he ripped the poster into pieces. He then tossed the strips of paper on the ground.

"But here's a fact, miss." He pointed at the pile on the floor. "This is not you. You're not one of them, and you have never been. If you HAD been one of them, you would have fit in their group from the beginning. You would have been treated as a full equal. You never were. And the reason for that is because deep inside, you are not one of those shallow, spoiled girls."

He put the tip of his index finger between her eyes and smiled.

"You are an artist, Chikako. You love to draw, you love to do cosplaying, and you're good at it. So why don't you just do it? If you're not the prettiest person in the world, you just have to be good at something else. And you are. You have a talent, and you should boast to everyone about it. You should show it to the whole world. So what if someone laughs at you or calls you 'nerd'? That's their problem, not yours. Life's too damn short to worry about such things."

He grabbed her shoulders and turned her around so that she faced her classmates.

"Look at your classmates, Chikako. They used to look down on you. Yes, they really used to. But guess what: they didn't look down on you because of your funny face, your glasses or because you couldn't buy that latest pair of ear rings..."

He pointed at her heart again.

"...they looked down on you only because you were not true to yourself. Because they hated to see you trying to be something you're not. THAT'S the kind of person no one likes, Chikako. People don't mind a nerd, but everyone hates a faker."

He pointed to the others.

"And you hated your classmates back. Maybe you think you hated them just because they sided with me and not with Miyabi. But you are wrong. I know the reason you hated them. It's because they learnt to be themselves and to do what they really love to do. Deep inside, you wanted to be just like them, but you were too afraid to admit it to yourself. That's why you pulled yourself closer and closer to Miyabi and the other girls, and grew colder and colder towards the others."

He put his arm around her and spoke softly right into her ear.

"Look at your classmates. Look into their eyes. Does anyone look down on you? Does anyone laugh at you or make fun of you? The answer, my dear, is 'no'. They don't hate you. They have no hard feelings towards you anymore. They've moved on. And so should you. They all love your costume. Look at how much they admire you."

Everything was silent.

Chikako slowly raised her head and looked at her classmates.

With tear-filled eyes, she looked at the boys and girls who had been her classmates for so long. The boys and girls she had hated and feared. The ones she had given so much brutality and hostility.

She finally dared to meet their eyes. They were warm. She could not believe the tenderness she saw. All the anger, insecurity and cruelty she remembered seeing in their eyes over the past year was gone. Every single one of them now looked at her with nothing but love. Saeko's cheeks were red and her eyes were full of respect for her friend's newly discovered talents. Fujiyoshi looked at her like an older brother proud of his younger sister. Anko's face was soft and sweet. You could not believe she had once been one of the worst bullies in school. Even the cool Kikuchi and the cynical Kanzaki had tiny smiles on their lips.

She finally saw who they really were. Deep inside, they had probably all once been afraid and insecure. They were just like her. The only difference was that they had learned to discover and conquer these fears and negative traits. They had learned to love themselves and move on in life.

Ever since the incident at Okinawa, she had begun accepting her own weaknesses and negative sides. She had learned to live with them, but she had continued to shy away when her classmates tried to welcome her back. Why had she done this? Why had she continued stepping back when they offered her an open hand? Maybe it was...that deep, deep down, she had still hated herself? Maybe she had been too afraid of her true feelings? Had she not refused to accept their love and friendship only because she felt she was not worthy of them?

Onizuka leaned back against the wall. He lit a cigarette. With a relaxed voice, he rounded up his long speech.

"This is all you ever wanted, right? To see your classmates look at you with those admiring eyes. Now that you have nothing more to hide from them, you can relax and finally be yourself. You can finally be the true Chikako Shirai."

Chikako did not know what to do or say. There were simply too many feelings inside of her at the same time. She wanted to cry of relief and dance of joy at the same time.

The others looked uncomfortable too. No one of them said anything. Onizuka did not help out. He just stood where he was with his eyes closed, smoking his cigarette.

Just when the atmosphere was starting to become painfully quiet and embarrassing, a sudden, loud voice echoed in the room:

"Chika-chaaaaaaaaan!"

Chikako looked up in surprise, but before she could identify the source of the sound, a brown-haired demon charged at her and jumped up on her upper body. She moaned when she felt the unidentified monster put its arms around her, hugging her heavily. She tried to talk, but could not get a single sound out because of the two gigantic breasts that were pressed against her face.

"Chika-chan! You are absolutely adorable! I love your costume!" whimpered the monster.

"Mphmphmmph..." Chikako said, desperately trying to remove the demon clinging on to her.

Eventually, Chikako lost her balance, and both she and the monster fell down on the floor.

"Ouch!" Chikako yelled, finally having her face free.

"Oooh! Sorry, Chika-chan! Did I screw up again? I'm so sorry!"

Chikako blinked and looked at the demon. Now she saw who it was.

It was Tomoko!

She was sitting on the floor in front of Chikako, with her trademark dumb, naive smile on her face. Chikako realized Tomoko had not been with the class before.

Both she and Tomoko stood up. Tomoko brushed dust off her clothes, then rubbed her head and gave her classic sunny smile.

"Ooh, hi everyone! Sorry I'm late! I came here as soon as my modeling job was over, but when I came here I took the wrong door and entered a restricted area and was chased away by guards, but when I ran away from them I took another wrong door and ended up in a storage room and then I locked myself inside the storage room and couldn't get out so I had to crawl out the window and go back to the real main entrance, but then I took the same wrong door once again and was chased away by those guards a second time, but then I ran into a friend of mine who is a model and got inside with her help, puuuh...but now I'm here!"

Tomoko clapped her hands and cheered.

"Okay! Now that I am here, we can all have a party for Chikako! Hey Chika-chan, how did you know I love Arale-chan so much? You look fabulous! You should come to the model agency I work for! They are doing cosplay fashion shows too! Oooooh, what beautiful purple hair! Did you do this by yourself? And those glasses are lovely! Where did you get them?"

Tomoko ran around, cheering and yelling about Chikako's costume. She played with every single part of the clothes and accessories. Being the klutz she was, she accidently knocked Chikako's cap of a few times and almost pulled off her wig, apologizing every time it happened.

This was all that was needed to neutralize the tensed mood. It was like throwing a match into a tank of gasoline. Everyone burst out laughing. Chikako as well. All the tension and extreme feelings that had built up poured out. Tomoko had saved the day. Tomoko was like she always was, and always would be. Naive, clumsy, unaware...and always loveable. Always happy and caring. A snow white spirit with a heart of gold.

Chikako could not remember since when she had laughed together with others like this. She felt so free. She did not have to laugh just to please someone else. She no longer had to be afraid about her voice sounding silly. She could just laugh with all her heart out of pure lust. It relieved a lot of tension inside of her. She looked at Tomoko. Tomoko did not mind her classmates laughing at her. Instead, she just rubbed her head again and laughed with them. For the first time in her life, Chikako looked at her with deep respect and admiration. The pride and confidence shone from Tomoko. She did not mind people laughing at her being so weird. She knew she was good and talented, and she was not afraid to show it, nor was she afraid to show other people how much she liked them. The love she gave Chikako was genuine. Tomoko had no animosity towards Chikako, despite the cruel things Chikako had done to her. She had forgiven her for everything.

And then it finally happened: Chikako dared to open herself and take in all the love and respect Tomoko and her classmates gave her. She felt the strength and pride rise inside of her heart, and she finally felt the essence of empathy and understanding seep into her soul. So this was what real friendship was like...This was how it felt being admired for what you really were, and not for what you tried to be...

Suddenly, Onizuka broke in and clapped his hands loudly.

"Alright, alright, you jerks!" he shouted. "Enough of this sentimental stuff! You are at a manga expo, not some class reunion party! The festival is open for two more hours, so go out there and enjoy yourselves, kids! And if you have any questions, ask Chikako. She is our expert on this."

"Yaaay! Manga expooo! Come on, Chikako!" Tomoko cheered.

After all the emotional turmoil, everyone now wanted to focus on something different. They wanted to have fun. Everyone cheered and began running into the manga expo main hall. Chikako ran along with them. Her heart was beating wildly in her chest. All the walls had been torn down. There were no more barricades left. She was free.

* * *

><p>The following two hours were the best hours Chikako had ever had in her life. Never before had she had so much fun together with other people. She felt happy, free and unchained. It was like swimming in a big ocean of joy. All her happiness was shared by her classmates. At last, she felt like she belonged in the group. She was no longer an outsider or a servant to someone else. No, she was Chikako Shirai of class 3-4, and she was proud of herself.<p>

Everyone admired her costume, and they all wanted to take photos with her. Several classmates commented on her glasses and told her they were amazing. They asked her where she had found them, and were very shocked and embarrassed when they learned that they were in fact her normal glasses.

Chikako was truly the star of the evening. Everyone swarmed around her and made her the center of attention. At the end of the festival, her friends secretly signed her up for a competition of 'best cosplaying costume', and to her amazement, she finished in fourth place. She did not win any prize, but the feeling of standing there on stage along with the other cosplayers and receiving all the applauses and cheers from the audience made her feel wonderful inside.

* * *

><p>It was close to midnight. The manga event had ended and people were walking home. Chikako was walking on the street together with Onizuka. She was back in her normal clothes again. The air was cool and fresh. Everything was quiet and still. Chikako felt tired but happy. She felt that kind of tiredness you feel after a long and wonderful day full of fun.<p>

Neither one of them said anything. Chikako walked with drowsy steps and looked down in the ground. She did not look down because she was ashamed or sad. Those days were past. Her head kept falling down simply because she was so exhausted and satisfied. After all the excitement and joy, she had no more energy left. She did not want to focus on anything at the moment. She only wanted to float along in her happy state of euphoria.

Onizuka was smoking a cigarette. He watched her thoughtfully as they walked next to eachother. After a while, he took the cigarette from his mouth and asked her:

"So...how do you feel?"

"Um, what?" Chikako mumbled. "Oh, I...I feel..."

She took a deep breath. The cool night air cleared her mind a little, making her aware that the question was not just part of some small talk.

"I feel...great. I feel very happy..." she said quietly.

"You really enjoyed yourself tonight, didn't you?"

"Yes...I did. It was wonderful..."

Onizuka took a breath on his cigarette.

"I told you you'd love it, didn't I? Back there at the playground where I fetched you."

He jabbed her softly in the side with his elbow.

Chikako looked down in the ground again. This time it was definitely because of embarrassment.

"Yes...you were right. I loved it. I haven't had so much fun in a long time..."

They continued along the path. No one said anything for a while. Onizuka smoked his cigarette.

Finally, they reached the point where Chikako had to leave the main road. They stood still for a short while. Then Chikako took a deep breath and forced herself to look into her teacher's eyes.

"Onizuka..." she said quietly.

"Yes?"

"...I just wanted to say...thank you. For everything. Thank you for helping me out. And thank you for helping everyone in the class with their problems over the year..."

"Enough with the cheesy stuff, Chikako. It's my duty and my pleasure. You just go on living a happy life from now on, okay?"

"Yes, I will...and...one more thing..."

She swallowed and took another deep breath. She could not look into his eyes anymore.

"...I'm sorry for all the trouble I caused you...I really gave you hell sometimes..."

"Oh come on, Shirai." Onizuka said and smiled at her. He gently pushed her shoulder. "...what did I tell you before? You're just a puppy dog. Don't think you're tough. Because you're not."

Chikako smiled. She looked up at her teacher again. For the first time, she felt huge respect for him.

"Well, I guess this is your stop, Shirai." Onizuka said. "Goodnight, and don't be late tomorrow!"

"Goodnight, Onizuka." Chikako said. "See you tomo...uh..."

Suddenly, Chikako stiffened. She got a desperate look in her eyes.

"Oh no..." she whispered. "Oh no...I forgot..."

"What?" Onizuka said.

"T-teacher..." Chikako said weakly, looking very ashamed. "I need to...ask a favor..."

She looked away, her face red.

"A favor?"

"Y-Yes...May I...stay at your place...? Just for tonight, I mean..."

"Why d'you wanna do that?" Onizuka said and scratched his head.

"You see..." Chikako took a breath. "Before I went out for the evening and ran over to that park, I had a...fight with my family...I said many bad things...they're probably very angry..."

Chikako fought hard to hold back tears.

Onizuka watched her for a while. Then he smiled and put his hand on her shoulder.

"Shirai, come with me. I'd like to show you something."

"What?"

"Just come with me. It'll only take a minute."

The teacher and his student walked in on the road where Chikako's home was located. Onizuka held up a hand and told Chikako to be quiet. Then he took her hand and lead her into the bushes standing at the side of the road. They walked in on a small path going behind the row of houses, one of those paths that were meant to be used only by the people living there. They walked on the path, often passing through the small gardens that belonged to the houses.

"Why are we walking here? It's dark and the ground is slippery. And these areas are people's private property, you know. We are not supposed to be here." Chikako whispered.

"Shhhhh...as long as they don't know, they won't mind." Onizuka whispered back.

After a while, they came to an opening in the row of houses. They moved over to some bushes standing next to the road. They crouched down behind the leaves, peeking out to the bright city lights outside. They had a good view of a town square. This town square was a place where the people living in this area used to gather. It was close to Chikako's house.

"Why are we here?" Chikako asked.

"Look over there. Do you see that man and woman?" Onizuka said and pointed at the town square area.

Chikako gazed at the town square, blinking. Her eyes had not yet adjusted from the darkness behind the houses. She could see two figures walking around. It was a man and a woman. They were hanging up posters. Anytime a person came walking by, they walked up to him or her and talked to them. They seemed to be very upset, and spoke with loud voices and made wild gestures. Chikako blinked again. Then she suddenly realized who the man and woman were. It was her parents! It was her mum and dad walking around in the town square area!

"It's mum and dad!" she said to Onizuka. "What are they doing? Why are they here?"

"They are hanging up posters about a missing person." Onizuka said to her. "And they are asking anyone passing by if they have seen this person. They are worried sick about it. They are desperate. The whole evening, they have been walking around in the neighborhood, not caring about getting any sleep or worrying about catching a cold. They love and miss this person so much that they'd do anything to have it back..."

Chikako stared at the scene.

"You know who the missing person is, don't you, Chikako?" Onizuka said.

Chikako's face was tense. She began shaking.

Onizuka lit a cigarette and spoke out.

"You see, your parents don't care if you've been bad. They don't care if you're unpopular, if you're having poor grades at school or if you're not the prettiest girl in the world. Why? Because they are a lot smarter than their stupid, spoiled little daughter. The only thing they care about is you being happy and enjoying life. They love you for being you, and that's something you should do too."

He exhaled some smoke and pointed at the town square again.

"Look at how much trouble they have to go through just because you worry so much about yourself. They would walk through water and fire for their little puppy. All that hard work and all that overtime without earning a nickel. And why do they put up with this? Simply because you are their only daughter, and they never want to lose you."

This was the last straw for Chikako. She finally understood everything. She began crying. She held her hands in her face, sobbing. She felt so ashamed of her childish behavior. She had been so ungrateful. Her parents loved her dearly, and they only wanted her best, and she had tossed that love and care right back in their faces. Over the last year, she had rejected their love and made herself more distant to them because she felt ashamed of them. But now she felt how much she loved and missed them. Now she wanted nothing more than to hug them and be their little beloved daughter.

Onizuka rolled his eyes and put his big hand on her head.

"Oh, Shirai, you little crybaby. Don't be so sentimental. What's there to cry for? It's a happy ending! You go out there to your parents and have a happy reunion."

He grabbed her arms and pulled her up.

"W-Will they take me back? Will they...?" she sniffed.

"Don't be so stupid. You know they will. Now go to your parents."

He gave her a thumbs up. Then he suddenly seemed to remember something. He got his classic dumb face look, then he coughed and mumbled:

"Umm yeah, one thing, Chikako. I'd prefer if you didn't tell your parents you were at that manga exhibition. You see, they phoned me right away when you were gone and asked me if I had seen you, and I told them I hadn't and that I was going to look for you at the expo, and that they should keep looking around their block. It was to keep them away from the exhibition hall..."

Chikako stared at him in disbelief.

"Alright! See you tomorrow. Don't be late." he said quickly with a faked innocent smile. Then he took off into the bushes.

With Onizuka disappearing in the shadows, Chikako slowly stepped out of the darkness and into the light. She slowly began walking towards the place where her parents were. Then she began walking faster. And faster. Then she began running. She ran towards her parents, crying like a child.


	7. Epilogue

**EPILOGUE**

The time was 1:00 AM. Chikako was standing in her room at her home. The lights were out and the only light came from the night outside. The window was slightly open, and she could feel the fresh night air where she stood, looking up at the stars in the sky.

She was happy.

Her parents had been delighted when they saw her running up to them. They had held her in their arms and cried along with her. They did not feel the slightest anger. They had only been worried sick about her disappearance and her strange behaviour. Chikako had apologized for everything she had ever done to them, and they had assured her that there was nothing to apologize for. They loved her no matter what and would always do.

Her little brother was sleeping when she had come back. When her parents had gone out to search for her, her mother had called up her sister to come and tend for Shigeru while she and her husband were out of the house. Chikako had wanted to wake him up immediately to apologize for her rude behaviour, but her parents had convinced her to wait until morning. She desperately wanted to say how sorry she was for hurting her only brother, and how much she really loved him.

Chikako left the window and sat down on her bed. Her parents had cleaned up the mess she had made in her room. They had removed all the glass shards and broken items. She felt like an idiot for doing such a childish thing, and for all the trouble her parents had to go through.

Everything was crystal clear now. She finally knew who she was. And she had finally shown her classmates and her teacher her true self. With this harmony she now felt inside of her, and with all things of the past year put in perspective, it was hard to understand that she had behaved the way she had. It almost felt like the past days had been a bad dream and that she was now awake for the first time.

She had been a bitch. A complete bitch. She had been no better than any other bully at school. She had done things she thought she would never be capable of doing. Now that she felt nothing but deep love and a strong friendship with her classmates, the memories of what she had done made her feel filthy. It felt a bit like having blood on the hands. Blood that could never be washed away.

She had enjoyed seeing Yoshikawa getting beaten up by Anko and other people in school...Why had she felt that way? How could she have felt happy seeing a defenseless person getting terrorized? She had been a victim of this form of terrorism herself long ago! And she had even done her fair share of bullying as well...against Tomoko...One of the kindest and most caring people on the planet. That's exactly what she had done: bullying. She had bullied Tomoko. Before, she had not admitted to herself that it was bullying in its purest form, but now she saw everything for what it really was. And the truth was that she had participated in that sadistic game with all her heart. And then it was Fujiyoshi and that money theft she had participated in...God...she had helped stealing all the money her classmates had gathered up. She had STOLEN money from her own classmates! Chikako swallowed. She knew very well that she did not deserve the forgiveness and love she got from her friends. She could only thank the gods for being so lucky that her classmates had welcomed her back.

Chikako had never been interested in high ideals and all those old quotes and phrases of wisdom that such idealistic people kept babbling about. But at this moment, there was one quote she remembered. One quote that summed up everything about her character:

_'To be able to love someone, you must first learn to love yourself.'_

It was so true. Ever since she had been a little child, she had never loved herself. The older she had become, the more she had begun hating who she was. These negative feelings had consumed more and more of her soul, and eventually, she had not been able to keep them inside. She had begun projecting them on people around her. After going around for so long being completely powerless, she had begun to crave power over others. More and more power, only to fill the empty hole inside of her. Every time someone around her had taken a fall, she had felt a slight moment of satisfaction. For a tiny, short moment, she had felt strong and victorious. But those moments had never lasted long, and soon she had gone back to her ordinary state. It was like a drug addict, taking that killing poison over and over again just to get that short moment of happiness, only to fall back down into the same old miserable state as soon as the high was over.

For the first time in years, maybe even for the first time in her life, she felt complete. There was no more pain and rage inside her. No feelings of self hate. No desperate lies she kept repeating to herself to cover up for all the mistreatment she had received. Not anymore. Now, she felt strong, proud and happy. And most of all, she felt loved. Loved by her classmates, loved by her family...loved by herself.

Chikako stood up. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. As the night air filled her lungs, she felt confidence and self control flow in her veins. She tied her fists and made a decision.

_'I am going to apologize to them. All of them. I will give an honest and heartful apology to the ones I've hurt. This will be the last thing I do. From thereafter, I will never look back again. I will love myself and never hurt myself again. And I will spend the rest of my school days with my classmates. The ones I love.'_

She had done many bad things to them, and she wanted to show them that she was ready to take responsibility for doing all those things. Sure, she could go on blaming the circumstances if she wanted to. She could put all blame on Miyabi's manipulative ways and try to swear herself free of any responsibility. But she would never do that again. No matter the circumstances, in the end, everything was her own doing. She had done the actions, and she had to stand up and confess them.

She had never felt this way before. Back then, she had only apologized to someone when she was ordered to do so by a teacher, her parents or by Miyabi. This time, however, she wanted to apologize by her own free will just because she cared about her friends.

Onizuka had always told them about the importance of taking responsibility for one's actions. But equally as much had he stressed the importance of moving on and leaving the past behind once you had been forgiven. And this was something that Chikako had decided to do.

Chikako smiled to herself. Onizuka...he had finally defeated her. She had always hated his idealism, his unorthodox pedagogical methods and his dumbfound optimism. But she could not deny that somehow, it worked. Somehow, he was able to reach out to people. And once you got an Onizuka treatment, you came out as a new person. She had been deeply afraid seeing her classmates getting worked upon one by one, and how much they had changed after Onizuka was done with them. In the longest, she had resisted his ways of teaching and views of life. She had sworn to herself never to accept Onizuka or to be subject of his little operations, but now it had happened. Now she had been put through the Onizuka Car Wash just like her classmates, and wow...did it feel good. She had come out as a new human being. Now she felt nothing but a deep admiration and respect for him.

Happy with this new decision in her life, Chikako took up some photographs that had been taken at the exhibition event. She turned on the small lamp standing by her bed and looked at the photos. She grinned widely when she saw herself dressed up as Arale, and how happy she looked together with her classmates.

Chikako looked at her own face in the photos. She could not help letting out a few giggles. She actually looked quite cute. Now that she felt confident in herself, she could see that she didn't look that bad. She was cute, but not like Miyabi, Tomoko or any of those fashionable girls. No, she looked cute in some dumb kind of way. Like a nerdy girl who enjoys life so much that the joy itself makes her face sweet.

From here, it could only get better. Tomorrow, she would join the manga club in her school. She would begin drawing again and read comics. She would use all her spare time drawing, reading, watching movies...and enjoying life. She wanted to pursue her attempt of making a career as a manga artist. She already had a lot of plans of stories and characters. She even had ideas for costumes and themes for the next cosplay event. She was not really good at making clothes, but maybe she could get some help from some good designers? And about the manga club, maybe she could get Saeko to join as well? She did not know whether Saeko liked manga or not, but one could always ask. With enough persuasion, maybe she would accept? Chikako was surprised of her own confidence. Only a day ago, she would never have dared to do something like that.

Chikako put the photographs away. She turned off the light and lay down in bed. She stared up in the roof. Just a few weeks ago, she had been lying like this in a bed at Okinawa, going through the misery in her life. Now that misery was no more. She was extremely tired after the long day, and she had school tomorrow early in the morning. She wanted to fall asleep...but something kept nagging at the back of her mind.

Miyabi...

The image of Miyabi in the classroom had stuck in Chikako's head. At that time, she had been so paralyzed by her mere presence that she had not reflected upon how ghastly her appearance had been. But now when she lay here all happy and relaxed, she began going through the scenes from today once again.

Miyabi had looked like a mess. She had dyed her hair all blue. She had never before gone to such lengths to express her negative feelings. And the rest of her had looked awful as well. Her pale face, her dead eyes, her weight loss...even her behaviour had changed extremely. Chikako had seen many kinds of feelings in Miyabi's face over the times. But she had never seen her so hateful. So vengeful. So evil. Every single thing she had done, from ripping apart the photographs to humiliating Chikako in the yard, had she done with such immense hate. Chikako remembered Miyabi's eyes back then. When Miyabi had said to her all those horrible things, it had looked like she really meant it. Like she really wanted to throw Chikako down in hell with her own hands. Miyabi had been mean many other times to many other people, but such a hateful gaze had never been there before.

Chikako knew very well that she had all right in the world to throw Miyabi out of her life forever. No one would blame her for that. Miyabi had betrayed her and humiliated her, and Chikako had tried her best to talk to her about it and make up, but without success. That's all someone could ask for, right?

Right...?

Chikako kept staring in the roof.

Somehow, she could not forget Miyabi's tensed eyes. They had been filled with hate, that was true, but there had also been something else... In her eyes, Chikako had seen pain. Torment. Confusion. And fear. Lots of fear. Miyabi had never had pure fear in her eyes before.

Earlier, when Chikako had been too busy feeling sorry for herself, she had never tried to see things from another person's perspective. But now, something had woken up inside of her. Even though she tried to ignore the feeling, she couldn't do it. It stuck with her. It formed questions in her head that refused to go away.

_'How is Miyabi feeling, really? Is she really alright? Is she really fine?'_

Chikako could not understand why she felt this way. She had all good reasons to never care for Miyabi again. But she could not let go. This was definitely not her old underdog feelings coming back. She was sure of this. This was something new. Something she had rarely felt before. It was...it was empathy, wasn't it?

So...not only confidence and self respect had come to her since the Onizuka project. Now she also wanted to make people feel better. Chikako had never known she had the possibility to have such feelings. She was amazed by her new way of thinking. It was surprising how much easier everything became once you had learnt to love yourself.

Miyabi probably felt like shit at the moment. Come to think about it, she had been all alone at home while all her former friends - no, in fact ALL third graders of the school - had enjoyed themselves in Okinawa. Coming back to the same old classroom, seeing that everyone had changed so much and had become such good friends, must have felt horrible. Miyabi must have felt like no one loved her anymore. That she was the loneliest person in the whole world...and if there was someone who knew what evil things a person could do when it felt lonely and afraid, it was Chikako.

Chikako had been there herself. She had despised herself and everyone around her, and she had seen what things it had made her do against others. It was surprising how evil human beings could become when they felt miserable...and how quickly they could turn sweet again once they got back on track.

Chikako had decided. She would give Miyabi a second chance. She would try to make contact with her again at a good opportunity, and see how she really felt inside. Then, if they could make up, maybe she could forgive Miyabi for the things she had done, and maybe they could be friends again. She felt that this was the only right thing to do. Her classmates had given her a hand and helped her back again, despite all the bad things she had done. It was only right that she did the same thing to someone else.

Satisfied with this decision, Chikako closed her eyes. After a few moments, she fell into a deep sleep. The best sleep she had had in almost ten years.

**THE END**


End file.
